15 Facts That Feed Our Brains Like An All You Can Learn Buffet
The great god Pan died this week. His body was found at the bottom of a deep well in the woods outside of town. The coroner's report said that it appeared he'd fallen down and drowned himself, but I think that's just an excuse for the local cops who were hoping no one would notice his body. People were all over the papers saying how sad they were, which I guess means they were happy. It was pretty obvious that he was a little off, so I'm sure they're not too broken up about losing him.
I don't know if anyone else will miss Pan, but I certainly did. I mean, he was always hanging around, telling us all these wild stories, and we never really paid attention until he was gone. Hell, the last thing he told me was just a weird list of fifteen facts that he rattled off for some reason. I still remember every word crystal-clear, even if I don't know why. The list went: