Cracked Archive - News
The Lincoln Project Isn't Fooling Anyone
The Lincoln Project is the political equivalent of the Vice Principal flipping his chair at an assembly and trying to rap.
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- By Dan Duddy
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71
71 What Is Up With Trump's New Postmaster General?
Trump's new guy seems to hate the postal service as much as he does.
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- By Dan Duddy
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- 27
We Don’t Have To Talk About Every Earthquake
Guys, your bed shook a little. Chill.
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- By Dan Duddy
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- 36
So, How Are Terrorists Holding Up During This?
Evil in the time of corona.
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- By Cedric Voets
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- 37
35 Days Later, Officers Figure Out The Starbucks Thing Wasn't A Tampon
The Starbucks tampon mystery has been solved.
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- By Dan Duddy
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- 51
Are Billionaire Donations Really Worth Celebrating?
No one should be in a position to cavalierly give away 30 billion dollars because nobody should have 30 billion dollars.
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- By Dan Duddy
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- 61
5 Ways Crime Is Getting Weird During This
Everyone's had to make changes right now. Even law breakers.
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- By Andrea Meno
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- 20
'Umbrella Guy' Smashing Windows At George Floyd Protest Is Allegedly A White Supremacist
There are people who pretend to be a part of BLM, but are actually white supremacists. Unfortunately, not all of them can be identified by their umbrellas.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
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- Comments
- 91
Uh, Maybe Don't Listen To The Demon Sperm Lady
Before conservative Americans start declaring themselves Immanuelsexuals, they might wanna look into what else she believes.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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- 81
Enough With Empty Social Media Challenges Already
We've fallen far from the halcyon days of the Ice Bucket Challenge.
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- By Dan Duddy
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- 30
5 Extremely Random Groups Helping Out In All This
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- By Andrea Meno
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- 70
Hey, Let's Ditch Black Friday This Year
It's about time Walmart and Target employees got off on Thanksgiving, but that's not nearly enough.
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- By Dan Duddy
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- 36
Local News Is Giving Time To COVID Conspiracy Theorists
And now, some complete bullshit.
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- By Cedric Voets
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- 41
Vegan Held A Bus Hostage To ... Promote A Joaquin Phoenix Documentary?
We did it, everyone: We found the worst vegan.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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- 13
A 'Wacky' MRA Lawsuit Guy Shot A Judge's Family; Maybe We Should Stop Indulging This
Maybe we should start taking them seriously?
- Authors
- By Amanda Mannen
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