Cracked Archive - News
Friendly Reminder That Kellyanne Conway's Daughter Is Still A Kid
To steal a quote from that one guy from 2007, leave Claudia alone.
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- By Carly Tennes
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39 'Sweater Guy' Ken Bone Is Not Someone To Listen To In 2020
Ken Bone is back, and as undecided as ever.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 41
Prisoners Forced To Listen To 'Baby Shark' For Hours as Punishment
It's an inhuman punishment, doot doot doo doot doot doo.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 20
Gay Twitter Is Taking Over the Proud Boys Hashtag
Finally, a news story that is actually all sunshine and rainbows.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 47
Concerts in 2020 Are About To Be So Weird
Roblox isn't just for Lil Pump videos anymore.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 6
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And Now, Compelling Evidence Shrek Is Secretly Jewish
Time to send Shrek an early invite to your Hanukkah Zoom call.
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- By Carly Tennes
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Because Of Google, The Internet Thinks A Random Woman Is Jeff Bezos
Despite what Google says, this woman is definitely not Jeff Bezos.
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- By Carly Tennes
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Trump's Diagnosis Could Unleash Amendment Mostly Used for Presidential Colonoscopies
So far, the 25th Amendment has only been invoked for, well, uncomfortable situations.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 63
New Zealand Prime Minister Says She Smoked Weed, Nobody Cares
BRB, going to add Jacinda Ardern to a list of people we'd love to smoke with ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 46
Subway's Bread Isn't Actually Bread, Irish Court Rules
Not all bread rises to the occasion, at least according to a court in Ireland.
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- By Carly Tennes
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Couple Breaks Up Over Cans of Beans, Because 2020
Some relationships just aren't meant to be(an).
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- By Carly Tennes
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An Architecture Student Once Stopped a New York City Skyscraper from Collapsing during a Hurricane
Heroes don't always wear capes; sometimes, they just have a really good understanding of architecture.
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- By Carly Tennes
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House Covered Entirely With Budweiser Cans On Sale For $100,000
All together now, '99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer ...'
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- By Carly Tennes
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Do All Flamin' Hot Cheetos Taste Different? An Investigation
Did we eat the equivalent of three bags of Flamin' Hot Cheetos for this article? Yes. Was it worth it? Find out for yourself.
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- By Carly Tennes
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Swearing Parrots At Zoo Berate Guests With 'Fowl' Language
To quote one of the birds, uh, nevermind.
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- By Carly Tennes
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