The first thing that happened to the witch was a terrible headache. Her head hurt so terribly it felt like she had been stabbed in her skull with an icicle.
She sat up and looked out of the window of her house and saw that a storm had blown in and it seemed as if the whole town was being whipped around in this windstorm. She thought about going out to see what was causing this strange wind, but decided she wasn't feeling quite up for it yet. Instead, she went back to bed and tried not to think about how terrible the headache was. But then she started having visions and hearing voices telling her that the only way that she would ever feel better again was by destroying something, which would take the headache away forever.
Then another voice spoke up. It was a calmer, gentler, more civilized voice. Inexplicably, it began reciting a list of facts that went:
Taking “fish lips” to a whole new level.
It would take a while, but you could heat up a cup of coffee by yelling.
Being polite in one French coffee shop will get you a discount.
You look radiant today.
A blue whale’s heart beat can be heard from 35.2 football fields away.
You get a free bottle every month working at Jack Daniels, or every day if you’re a thief.
The rich just keep getting richer.
A beer giant wanted their products on “It’s Always Sunny,” until they saw it.
Hairy pencils are now the thing we are most afraid of.
Good smells make good dreams.
A 00 year cold war ended between Spain and France in the 980s.
One parasite doesn’t need oxygen for its whole life.
Almost a dozen of fatal fighter jet crashes were due to trouble peeing.
A bird evolved back into a variety that had been wiped out.