It is a truth universally acknowledged that anyone can enjoy this list of interesting facts, that we live in an age where the existence of a list such as this one can be considered normal, that anyone can even make such a list. But for some reason, I am not writing this introduction. I am writing it in the past tense. This is because I am not writing it at all, because I have written it and it is now a fact that I wrote it. So this is not a list of facts to entertain my brain, it is a list of facts which I have already entertained my brain with, and if you are reading this introduction you must have already entertained your brain with it as well. That's fine, I don't mind. You enjoy this list of interesting facts. I enjoyed it. I can only presume that you did as well.

Bill Hicks CRACKED.COM People tell me, 'Bill, let it go. The Ken- nedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a Presi- dent and the hijacking of our govern- ment by a totalitarian regime - who cares? Just let it go.' I say, 'All right then. That whole Jesus thing? Let it go! It was 2,000 years ago! Who cares? From his 1993 album (eerily titled) Revelations one year before he passed away.

QuotePark

Ali Wong CRACKED.COM If I ever do a nude scene, I want to be in shape just enough so nobody calls me cou- rageous for doing it. So brave.

Buzzfeed

Wanda Sykes CRACKED.COM I hate when women compare men to dogs. Men are not dogs. Dogs are loyal. I've never found any strange pant- ies in my dog's house. Good boy.

DeadFrog

Norm Macdonald

Norm Macdonald CRACKED.COM I once walked in on my parents having sex. It was the most embar- rassing thirty minutes of my life. Thirty min- utes?! Damn... Norm's dad was something.

Ranker

Chris Rock

Chris Rock CRACKED.COM You don't need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars... You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thou- sand dollars there would be no more in- nocent bystanders. In a hilarious piece of social commentary, this joke on his 1999 special, Bigger & Blacker came just a few months after the Columbine shooting, and a recent spike in nation- wide gun violence.

YouTube

Get the Cracked Daily Newsletter!

We've got your morning reading covered.

Forgot Password?