Cracked Archive - News
'Liberate' Protestors Are The Dumbest Thing That Could Have Happened Right Now
No needs to listen to this tiny group of morons trying to get you sick.
- By Luis Prada
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- April 21, 2020
We'd Be Better Off With Dr. Pepper Than These 'Doctors'
Celebrity doctors are more dangerous now than ever, which makes us wonder, did we ever need them in the first place?
- By Riley Simmons
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- April 21, 2020
New Boogeyman For Conspiracy Loons: Bill Gates
Bill Gates, of all people, is somehow being blamed for this pandemic.
- By Dan Duddy
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- April 20, 2020
Unassuming Small Businesses That Hid Big-Time Scams
These were small businesses, but big time crooks.
- By Alex Hanton
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- April 19, 2020
Goodbye Land O'Lakes Butter Lady. You Won't Be Missed.
It's about time we just let Mia retire.
- By Isaac Cabe
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- April 17, 2020
Dude Handed Drive-Thru Employees $40k
Here's the type of Instagram challenge we can all get behind.
- By Dan Duddy
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- April 17, 2020
Pope Scotch Comment (Stupidly) Stricken From History
All you ever hear about in Catholicism is wine, wine, wine. Pope Francis has other ideas.
- By Isaac Cabe
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- April 17, 2020
Does Anyone In The White House Understand How Money Works?
The stimulus package is like putting a bandaid on the bleeding stump where your arm got ripped off.
- By Riley Simmons
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- April 16, 2020
Pennsylvania's Liquor Laws Aren't Helping Right Now
Pennsylvania's Prohibition-era alcohol infrastructure is causing an interstate commerce crisis.
- By Isaac Cabe
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- April 16, 2020
Arizona 'Hard' Tea Is The Trash Tea Of The People
Gas station iced tea? With vodka? It's gonna be the drink for everyone.
- By Isaac Cabe
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- April 15, 2020
Trump Pulls Total Trump Move With Stimulus Checks
Why not add more confusion and delay to an already confusing and delayed process?
- By Riley Simmons
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- April 15, 2020
An Ohio Senate Candidate Is (Stupidly) Protesting Outside The Statehouse
This is a time for leadership, not blind stupidity.
- By Isaac Cabe
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- April 15, 2020
A Quiet New York Gets A Clear, Beautiful Hendrix Tribute
We never know what beauty 7 pm will bring in New York City.
- By Isaac Cabe
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- April 14, 2020
Virginia Passed Some Good Laws During This
Baby steps are to be applauded in a time when everything seems to have grinded to a halt.
- By Isaac Cabe
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- April 14, 2020
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