Cracked Archive - News

How To Contribute to Protests (When You’re Very White)
How To Contribute to Protests (When You’re Very White)

Pull up a chair, folks.

130
Myths About the Protests, Debunked
Myths About the Protests, Debunked

George Soros is hiding under your bed and leaving bricks in your stockings.

68
Dude, It's Only June.
Dude, It's Only June.

2020 is a year we'll never forget and it's not even half over.

15
LAPD's Commissioner Getting Clowned On Zoom Was Delightful
LAPD's Commissioner Getting Clowned On Zoom Was Delightful

For anyone craving a bit of catharsis during all of this violence, trust us, this is better than porn.

25
'Blackout Tuesday' Immediately Sank Because White Supporters Couldn't Shut Up
'Blackout Tuesday' Immediately Sank Because White Supporters Couldn't Shut Up

Gotta keep those hearts coming at any cost, to the point of metaphysical contradiction.

30
Shut The F Up About Looting Macy's
Shut The F Up About Looting Macy's

How do you compare the destruction of large retail chains to what happens to Black people everyday? I don't know, but people are trying.

141
Workplace Horror Stories From Famous Companies
Workplace Horror Stories From Famous Companies

Every company has its embarrassing secrets, these are even worse.

23
Jeffrey Epstein Had An 'Egg-Shaped Penis'
Jeffrey Epstein Had An 'Egg-Shaped Penis'

There's nothing wrong with having an egg-shaped penis, like Jeffrey Epstein.

31
Unexpected Groups That Are Getting Torn Apart By Drama
Unexpected Groups That Are Getting Torn Apart By Drama

Small communities, major drama.

69
Uh ... Trump Doesn't Have The Power To Label ANTIFA A Terrorist Organization
Uh ... Trump Doesn't Have The Power To Label ANTIFA A Terrorist Organization

But, if we're wrong, Trump can arrest anyone who politically opposes him with impunity.

89
The U.S. Riots Were Always Going To Happen, And Chile Proves It
The U.S. Riots Were Always Going To Happen, And Chile Proves It

All of this already happened in Chile, from the riots to sexy Spider-Man.

208
Totally WTF Criminal Schemes (You Won't Believe Are True)
Totally WTF Criminal Schemes (You Won't Believe Are True)

These guys make Joe Exotic look like Joe Boring.

27
Anti-Vaxxers Are More Organized Than You Think
Anti-Vaxxers Are More Organized Than You Think

It's not just soccer moms anymore.

73
Stop Explaining What MLK 'Would Have Done' To MLK’s Children
Stop Explaining What MLK 'Would Have Done' To MLK’s Children

Twitter users know no shame.

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