Cracked Archive - News
People Get Paid To Be Professional Screamers
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
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5
5 Concordia University in Michigan's Acronym Merch Is An Internet Mystery For The Ages
Because nothing screams school spirit like wearing Concordia University in Michigan's acronym in a glittery heart across your chest -- on a hoodie.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 8
You Can't Rage Against The Machine (When You're, GASP, The Machine)
The moral of 2020: when you're in control of everything, it's smart business to pretend you aren't.
- Authors
- By Mark Hill
- Published
- Comments
- 137
From Joe Exotic to a Sexy Mail-In Ballot: A Comprehensive Ranking of 2020's Most Absurd Halloween Costumes
You know what they say? When life gives you Murder Hornets and 'Tiger King,' make sexy Halloween costumes?
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 18
'The Rats Were Crawling All Over Him': Bronx Man Falls 15 Feet Down Sinkhole
Nope. Just Nope.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 7
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Gory Dallas Halloween Display Prompts Multiple Police Visits, Concern
Because putting mangled, bloody fake corpses on your lawn is one way to maintain social distancing this Halloween.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 11
Trump Rally Attendees Stranded Overnight, Some Hospitalized With Hypothermia
It seems like the Trump Campaign may have taken some pointers from the Fyre Festival.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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- Comments
- 80
Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy Are Now Married in DC's 'Injustice' Comic
Sorry, Joker! It looks like Poison Ivy stole your girl.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 17
Government Cancels Plan To Vaccinate Santa Early
It looks like some government officials may be getting coal in their stockings this year ...
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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- Comments
- 15
Cordelia From 'Buffy' Fought (And Caught) A Real-Life Serial Rapist Cop
In 1991, Charisma Carpenter thought someone was breaking into her home ...
- Authors
- By Ryan Menezes
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- 39
Murder Hornets Are Back, And More Murder Hornet-y Than Ever
Mover over M. Night Shyamalan, the writers of 2020 are back with yet another twist.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 12
Who Exactly Is The Internet's Dancing Pumpkin Man?
He has to be doing *something* when he's not dancing to 'Ghostbusters' or that one trap version of 'Spooky Scary Skeletons'
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 9
Couple Who Met at Dunkin' Donuts Just Got Married -- At The Dunkin' Donuts Drive Through
Here comes the bride -- and the donuts.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 8
Massive 2,000-Year-Old Cat Drawing Discovered In Peru
Ancient drawings of giant cats -- the one thing we actually need more of this year.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 11
2020-Themed Christmas Ornaments Are Now A Thing, I Guess
Move over, sexy hand sanitizer Halloween costumes, Christmas this year comes complete with glittery toilet paper ornaments.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 15
