Cracked Archive - News

'Liberate' Protestors Are The Dumbest Thing That Could Have Happened Right Now

No needs to listen to this tiny group of morons trying to get you sick.


We'd Be Better Off With Dr. Pepper Than These 'Doctors'

Celebrity doctors are more dangerous now than ever, which makes us wonder, did we ever need them in the first place?


New Boogeyman For Conspiracy Loons: Bill Gates

Bill Gates, of all people, is somehow being blamed for this pandemic.


Unassuming Small Businesses That Hid Big-Time Scams

These were small businesses, but big time crooks.


Goodbye Land O'Lakes Butter Lady. You Won't Be Missed.

It's about time we just let Mia retire.


Dude Handed Drive-Thru Employees $40k

Here's the type of Instagram challenge we can all get behind.


Pope Scotch Comment (Stupidly) Stricken From History

All you ever hear about in Catholicism is wine, wine, wine. Pope Francis has other ideas.


Does Anyone In The White House Understand How Money Works?

The stimulus package is like putting a bandaid on the bleeding stump where your arm got ripped off.


Pennsylvania's Liquor Laws Aren't Helping Right Now

Pennsylvania's Prohibition-era alcohol infrastructure is causing an interstate commerce crisis.


Arizona 'Hard' Tea Is The Trash Tea Of The People

Gas station iced tea? With vodka? It's gonna be the drink for everyone.


Trump Pulls Total Trump Move With Stimulus Checks

Why not add more confusion and delay to an already confusing and delayed process?


An Ohio Senate Candidate Is (Stupidly) Protesting Outside The Statehouse

This is a time for leadership, not blind stupidity.


A Quiet New York Gets A Clear, Beautiful Hendrix Tribute

We never know what beauty 7 pm will bring in New York City.


Virginia Passed Some Good Laws During This

Baby steps are to be applauded in a time when everything seems to have grinded to a halt.