Thanks to a recent leak of an unpublished Supreme Court opinion, it seems likely that the court will soon be looking to repeal Roe v. Wade, the decades old, often-tested decision upholding womens’ right to safe and accessible abortions. I say safe because that’s really what the decision offers, as abortion frequency is consistent regardless of legality, and the main difference is the mortality rate while obtaining the necessary care. This is horrific news for the vast majority of the population, especially due to the severely lacking infrastructure and support that would endanger women forced to give birth. It is good news, however, for one specific person: the antichrist, lying in wait to rise to power.

If we are to subscribe to the religious basis that much of anti-abortion sentiment lives in, then it stands to reason that we must also believe in the existence of the anti-christ. There can be no God without the Devil, and so on. Finally, the Bringer of the Final Dawn, the Undoer, can appear, confident in their emergence. When the sonogram shows what look like ghostly horns, and the mark of the beast on their hand or forehead, there will be no recourse to avoid the coming end. Even now, these identifying characteristics of the Son of the Beast will likely only display after the first trimester.

Painting of the apocalypse

Public Domain

This is the future Conservatives want.

The unlucky mother will be forced to carry the evil in her stomach to term, despite nightly audible cackling, the murders of crows constantly roosting on the roof of her home, and the strange offerings left nightly on the doorstep by stray black cats. Her bank account will be drained over time simply by the cost of replacing the light bulbs that shatter every time the harbinger kicks. Nearing the due date, her ears will ring constantly, and she’ll be almost completely unable to properly hydrate due to any water she attempts to consume turning to blood in her hands.

Come delivery, there will be two outcomes: the mother will be one of the 17 out of 100,000 mothers to die during childbirth in the United States (one of the highest rates in the modern world), or she will be unable to bear to look at the nightmare she’s created. Whether it’s from the death of the mother or his insertion into a failing and cruel foster system, this will ensure that the anti-christ builds a deep hate of the human race and guarantee against any redemption or change of heart.

All bringing us to the end of days, and we will watch as the seven angels sound their trumpets, bringing down hail and fire to scorch the fields, and the sea turns to blood. The rivers and springs will turn to poison, and the world will plunge into darkness. The pit will be opened, and Abbadon will send the locusts to descend upon the population. The angels of the Euphrates will rise as cavalry and strike down the people with their mighty swords.

After all, to deny this outcome is to deny the teachings of the Bible and the word of God. So it is written. Hail Satan. Hail SCOTUS.

Top Image: Public Domain/Pixabay

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