15 Of This Week’s Wildest Top Stories

Tucker Carlson fantasizes about an America full of burly, half naked men.
15 Of This Week’s Wildest Top Stories

A few days after the death of his wife, an old farmer in upstate New York is visited by a stranger from the future, distant and mysterious.

He's sitting alone in his living room, looking out at nothing through dirty windows and listening to the wind howling across the empty field that stretches away into a distant forest. The air has grown cold, and he can hear it rattling the branches outside. It makes the house creak and sway. His hands tremble with the thought of leaving this safe place, and then there is a knock at the door. "Who's there?" he demands. There's no response; he tries again, more loudly. Still no answer. Then there's a second knock, and then someone comes inside the house.

"HEAR THIS," the apparition tells the man, who watches it in wordless terror. The apparition then begins rattling off a list of strange facts, starting with ...

The Tonys are not taking their chances on any “Will Smith”ing this year.

WEIRD WORLD Ahead of their 2022 show, the Tony Awards introduced a new no violence policy. The new procedure clarifies how the award show's producers handle an individual in the event they are the perpetrator in a violent incident during the ceremony: they will be removed. CRACKED.COM

Hollywood Reporter 

Mournfully swaying kiwi mascots welcomed the NZ prime minister to Japan.

WEIRD WORLD New Zealand prime minister Jacinda Ardern was greeted by giant dancing kiwifruit during her visit to Japan. The two large mascots welcomed the prime minister with a gentle swaying routine, set to a piece of slow, somewhat sorrowful chamber music, to a somber audience of suited men. CRACKED.COM

The Guardian 

“Law enforcement” isn’t a profession, if you don’t want former cops deciding your fate.

WEIRD WORLD A judge ruled that law enforcement isn't a profession that might preclude someone from sitting on a clemency board. Prisoner Clarence Dixon argued that the board that would be considering commuting his death sentence was illegally stacked with former cops, but the judge disagrees law enforcement has been thought of as a 'profession. CRACKED.COM

Phoenix New Times 

A WV man handed meth to traffic cops instead of his registration.

WEIRD WORLD A West Virginian man handed an officer meth instead of his registration at a traffic stop. GRLWOO Officers led a K-9 unit around the vehicle, finding the driver and passenger in possession of a combined 224 grams of meth. CRACKED.COM

WBOY 

A JPEG of the first tweet could not find a buyer willing to pay $48 million.

WEIRD WORLD The person that paid $2.9 million for an NFT of Jack Dorsey's first tweet only received a bid of $6,800. Crypto entrepreneur Sina Estavi put the tweet up for resale on the popular NFT marketplace OpenSea last week, initially asking for $48 million, but failed to find a big enough sucker. CRACKED.COM

The Guardian 

Texas pigs were told to slim down.

WEIRD WORLD Texas state troopers were told to slim down their waistline or face consequences. Men with a waist size over 40 and women over 35 will have to track and share weight loss efforts. Officers who fail to trim down by December can be removed from enforcement duties completely. CRACKED.COM

KWTX 

Tucker Carlson fantasizes about an America full of burly, half naked men.

WEIRD WORLD Tucker Carlson's documentary End of Men has been mocked for being very homoerotic. Carlson's idea of masculinity, if trailers for his documentary are anything to go by, revolve around shirtless men wrestling, chopping wood, and bearing their naked genitals to UV lights. CRACKED.COM

Newsweek 

A top running back was let go for daring to want pizza over chicken salad.

WEIRD WORLD USFL's Pittsburgh Maulers cut De'Veon Smith for requesting pizza. Smith's release stemmed from him requesting pizza at the team hotel instead of chicken salad. Не crossed the line, Maulers coach Kirby Wilson said. CRACKED.COM

MSN 

Taylor Swift fan names a new millipede after the music star.

WEIRD WORLD Scientists named a new species of millipede after Taylor Swift. Discovered in the US state of Tennessee, the Nannaria swiftae - or Swift Twisted-Claw Millipede - was ascribed the name by Hennen because he is a big fan of Swift. CRACKED.COM

NME

One person sent 2,000+ noise complaints to an airport last year. r

WEIRD WORLD Dublin Airport got 12,272 noise complaints last year from just one person. At 34 a day, the individual accounted for 90% of complaints received by the airport operator. Aircraft taking off from Dublin Airport adhere to a flight path designed to avoid overflight of built-up areas where possible. CRACKED.COM

Independent

A deceased train driver was compensated 45 cents after a year-long payroll issue.

WEIRD WORLD A deceased train driver in Japan was awarded 45 cents after his pay was deducted for a 1-minute delay in 2020. The train driver demanded 2.2 million yen as compensation for emotional distress over having the equivalent of 66 cents (later reduced to 45 cents) deducted from his paycheck in 2021. After his death this year, a judge ruled that he be posthumously compensated. CRACKED.COM

Yahoo 

Ok, but we’re not allowed to bring a bottle of water on the plane?

WEIRD WORLD A TSA officer faked a burglary as an excuse for being late for work. Gates 201-213 Ticketing The agent told her boss that she was late to work because of a violent burglary at her parent's house, during which she used her TSA-issued weapon. She also created a fake police report in an attempt to prove the lie. CRACKED.COM

Independent 

Child-murderer ate his own eyeball and wants to be found too mentally ill for execution.

WEIRD WORLD Lawyers for a man who ate his own eyeball argue he is too mentally ill for execution. The man is on death row for the murder of his estranged wife and her two children, including a 1-year-old. His lawyers argue that their client should be allowed to continue appealing his death sentence.. CRACKED.COM

AJC 

Electric chopsticks make things saltier, and this is seen as a good thing.

WEIRD WORLD Japanese researchers developed electric chopsticks to enhance the salty taste. The device uses a weak electrical current to transmit sodium ions from food, through the chopsticks, to the mouth where they create a 1.5 times enhanced sense of saltiness. CRACKED.COM

Reuters 

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