Cracked Archive - News
GOP Is Reusing Their '16 Platform ... Which Calls Out 'The Current President'
Even the GOP finds ways to inadvertently dunk on Trump.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 12, 2020
A Quick Guide To What 'Defunding The Police' Means
It's way, way, waaaaay more sensible than it might sound.
- By Luis Prada
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- June 11, 2020
Trump’s Team Is Running Ads In D.C. To Make Him Feel Better
Trump has no strategy. He is all ego and sadness and anger and it results in weird shit like this.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 09, 2020
People Have Taken Trump's Bleach Suggestion To Weirdo New Frontiers
At least use the scented variety to keep your breath smelling like a fresh meadow.
- By Luis Prada
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- June 08, 2020
Cops Wearing The Punisher Skull Continues To Be Stupid
The police are proving they are some kind of freak combination of Nazi and nerd.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 05, 2020
Trump Hid Because His Greatest Fear Is Consequence
The protesters aren’t going away and all Trump can do is hide.
- By Luis Prada
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- June 05, 2020
Mike Pence Can't Even Stage A Photo Op Right
Candace Owens is the last person you want in a discussion about George Floyd.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 05, 2020
Pornographic Actor Nacho Vidal Arrested For Poisoning Photographer With Psychedelic Toad Venom
In a year full of strange headlines, this might just be the weirdest.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 04, 2020
How To Contribute to Protests (When You’re Very White)
Pull up a chair, folks.
- By Mark Hill
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- June 04, 2020
Myths About the Protests, Debunked
George Soros is hiding under your bed and leaving bricks in your stockings.
- By Luis Prada
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- June 04, 2020
Dude, It's Only June.
2020 is a year we'll never forget and it's not even half over.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 03, 2020
LAPD's Commissioner Getting Clowned On Zoom Was Delightful
For anyone craving a bit of catharsis during all of this violence, trust us, this is better than porn.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 03, 2020
'Blackout Tuesday' Immediately Sank Because White Supporters Couldn't Shut Up
Gotta keep those hearts coming at any cost, to the point of metaphysical contradiction.
- By Amanda Mannen
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- June 03, 2020
Shut The F Up About Looting Macy's
How do you compare the destruction of large retail chains to what happens to Black people everyday? I don't know, but people are trying.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 02, 2020
K-Pop Stans And Hackers Are Sabotaging Cops With Music Bombs
A pitched battle.
- By Cedric Voets
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- June 02, 2020
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