Cracked Archive - News

The QAnon Congressperson is Nothing New
The QAnon Congressperson is Nothing New

The weird is coming from inside the House.

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Hey, How Does Time Work in the Peanut Universe?
Hey, How Does Time Work in the Peanut Universe?

We can accept reincarnation. We can even accept time travel. Just get it straight.

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Robot Trucks Will Soon Screw Up The U.S.A. (And Nobody's Talking About It)
Robot Trucks Will Soon Screw Up The U.S.A. (And Nobody's Talking About It)

And this isn't the plot of Transformers we're talking about here.

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Aside From Scoring Political Points, It Sure Feels Like Trump's Unemployment Order Does Nothing
Aside From Scoring Political Points, It Sure Feels Like Trump's Unemployment Order Does Nothing

We have to hand it to him, this is Trump's best political move in a long time.

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Most Expensive Mask In The World Is Also The Dumbest
Most Expensive Mask In The World Is Also The Dumbest

Now you too can sneeze into 1.5 million dollars.

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Why Christmas 2020 Could Be An All-Time Nightmare
Why Christmas 2020 Could Be An All-Time Nightmare

And you thought it was bad every other year.

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Schools Are Cracking Down On Students Sharing Shady Conditions On Social Media
Schools Are Cracking Down On Students Sharing Shady Conditions On Social Media

They choose to enforce social media restrictions, but telling students to wear a mask is a step too far?

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The NRA's Latest Scandal Needs Its Own Documentary Series
The NRA's Latest Scandal Needs Its Own Documentary Series

Even if the NRA dissolves, that doesn't mean gun rights are going away.

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An Angry God Has Clearly Cursed Disney World
An Angry God Has Clearly Cursed Disney World

There was definitely something in the Bible about this.

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Trump Seems To Get Rattled By Something He Rarely Hears: Follow Up Questions
Trump Seems To Get Rattled By Something He Rarely Hears: Follow Up Questions

This should be the standard from now on for interviewing all Presidents.

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Those 'Chinese Mystery Seeds' Are Probably Normal Seeds (But Maybe Still Worry)
Those 'Chinese Mystery Seeds' Are Probably Normal Seeds (But Maybe Still Worry)

They could still be a problem, just not for the reason you might think.

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'Zoey Punches The Future in the Dick' Trailer aka, 'What Has David Wong Been Doing?'
'Zoey Punches The Future in the Dick' Trailer aka, 'What Has David Wong Been Doing?'

The trailer for Jason 'David Wong' Pargin's newest book has arrived

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The Lincoln Project Isn't Fooling Anyone
The Lincoln Project Isn't Fooling Anyone

The Lincoln Project is the political equivalent of the Vice Principal flipping his chair at an assembly and trying to rap.

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What Is Up With Trump's New Postmaster General?
What Is Up With Trump's New Postmaster General?

Trump's new guy seems to hate the postal service as much as he does.

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We Don’t Have To Talk About Every Earthquake
We Don’t Have To Talk About Every Earthquake

Guys, your bed shook a little. Chill.

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