Cracked Archive - News

Russian Man Trapped on Chinese Boyband Competition Show Eliminated After Months of Begging Fans, Judges To Send Him Home
“Please don’t make me go to the finals, I'm tired."
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- By Carly Tennes
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14
Petition To Rename Washington DC's 'Ronald Reagan Washington Airport' After JoJo Siwa Goes Viral
The president has nothing on the teen pop sensation.
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- By Carly Tennes
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53
I Love 'Disney World', And 'Wokeness' Is Enhancing The Experience
As Walt himself once said -- “Times and conditions change so rapidly that we must keep our aim constantly focused on the future."
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- By Carly Tennes
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68
Gossip Girl's 'Original' Title Sequence Is Something Out of A Trashy, Mid-2000s Fever Dream
... or was it?
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- By Carly Tennes
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2
Artist Turns Alleged Armie Hammer Messages Discussing Cannibalism, Other Concerning Topics Into NFTs
Here's why.
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- By Carly Tennes
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20
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Man Rationalizes With Bear During Wilderness Encounter: ‘I’m not your food’
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- By Carly Tennes
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16
Susan Sarandon Posts Cat Photo, Unwittingly Sparks Heated Discourse on Bookshelves
Some say the actress's organization methods aren't the cat's meow.
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- By Carly Tennes
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23
OAN Producer Allegedly Fired For Speaking Out Against the Network's Reporting
It seems the TV station may have axed one of their OAN.
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- By Carly Tennes
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21
Morrissey's Manager Apparently Spending Too Much Time With Morrissey, Whines About 'The Simpsons'
Uh oh ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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18
Republican Lawmakers Are Now 'Mean Girls' in Ted Cruz 'Burn Book'
Ted Cruz has finally met his match -- Regina George.
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- By Carly Tennes
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28
5 Bananas Secret Projects Companies Did In The Name Of Profits
Running a business can get really weird, really fast.
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- By Ryan Menezes
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25
5 Tricks People Who Complain About 'Cancel Culture' Stole From Comedy
We regret to inform you that comedy has been on the verge of death for 30 years.
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- By Dan Fritschie
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65
Mystery Tree Monster Is Actually Just A Croissant, Officials Confirm
Who knew a rogue croissant could cause such a fiasco.
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- By Carly Tennes
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9
The 'Sex Pistols' Of Tik-Tok May Be Just Like The IRL 'Sex Pistols': A Made-Up Band
"How do you do, fellow TikTok punks?" - this band, maybe.
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- By Carly Tennes
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23
Ghostbusters Cereal is Now Apparently a Thing Again
Ever wondered what would happen if you used your proton pack to store your Trix, Lucky Charms, and perhaps some shrimp?
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- By Carly Tennes
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10