Cracked Archive - News

Meet The Dystopian Toilet Designed To Make Work Suck

This toilet is a narc.

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5 Republicans In Congress Who Are Garbage Humans

No politician is perfect, but some are more not perfect than others.

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5 Dumb Ways People In Trump's Orbit Are Trying To Cash In

The Trump presidency has attracted a dizzying array of grifters.

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Pictofacts

Feel-Good Stories To Buoy All Our Souls

News Flash: People are very cool, and the world’s getting better.

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JetBlue Now Has ASMR (Just In Time For The Holidays)

Airports + ASMR = whaaa?

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The Actual Stories Behind 5 Huge Social Media Outrages

Social media makes getting mad so convenient!

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Gigantic Hats Are The Future Of Fashion, Apparently

Sure, why not, wear giant hats, whatever.

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IHOP's New Fast-Casual Breakfast Joint Doesn't Get Breakfast

IHOP's opening a new breakfast-to-go concept that completely misses any and all points of breakfast.

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Walmart Is Too Lame To Pull Off That Cocaine Snowman Sweater

Because Walmart is a dork store.

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The 2019 Words Of The Year Prove 2019's Been Rough

Them's the breaks.

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6 Infamous Scandals With Crazy Details The Public Forgot

Sometimes the stories after the stories are even stranger.

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Every Single Stupid Company Is Mega Horny (On Twitter)

We are now in the 'aroused' stage of late capitalism.

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4 Disturbing Ways Trump Is Repeating History

History doesn't happen in a vacuum.

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Freedom Sucks (And That's Why We Have To Defend It)

We are on some dangerous ground here.

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