Cracked Archive - News

4 Things You Should Never Do in Front of People You Love
4 Things You Should Never Do in Front of People You Love

In my honest and expert opinion, there are just some things in life that you should never let the people you love see you doing.

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4 Organizations Everyone Hates (For Stupid Reasons)
4 Organizations Everyone Hates (For Stupid Reasons)

Just about everything, no matter how awful it may be, has supporters somewhere. But why?

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5 Disturbing Reasons Not to Trust the News (From a Reporter)
5 Disturbing Reasons Not to Trust the News (From a Reporter)

The gulf between the newsworthy and the filler has been widened on an enormous scale. Here are just some of the reasons journalism has gone (and continues to go) downhill.

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6 Important Steps to Becoming a Dance Machine
6 Important Steps to Becoming a Dance Machine

A little planning will keep your dance excursion from becoming a disaster. Here are a few tips to keep in mind.

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2 New Shirts for Picard and NES Lovers and 1 Huge Sale
2 New Shirts for Picard and NES Lovers and 1 Huge Sale

If Captain Kirk was allowed to love ladies from other species, Picard should at the very least be allowed to marry his number one.

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Two New Shirts That Both Replicants and Humans Can Love
Two New Shirts That Both Replicants and Humans Can Love

We bring you more shirts and an opportunity to win $500!

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5 Jokes That Make Customer Service People Hate You (Pt. 2)
5 Jokes That Make Customer Service People Hate You (Pt. 2)

Here are five more horrible, cliched jokes that workers have to hear every day, and how I think those workers should be allowed to react in a just world.

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Store Update: A Sale as Black as the Frozen Heart of Winter
Store Update: A Sale as Black as the Frozen Heart of Winter

Since the world can turn any apartment into a Wearegettingthroughthisgoddamnit Bunker, why not make the space you're hunkered down in worth the hunkering?

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5 Huge Brands That Pissed Off Whole Countries With Marketing
5 Huge Brands That Pissed Off Whole Countries With Marketing

Always make sure to check if the mere existence of your product insults your entire consumer base so viciously that they show up at your factory with pitchforks.

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Time to Buy the Shirts You Really Wanted
Time to Buy the Shirts You Really Wanted

It's too late for this Christmas, but you could finally fulfill your yearly vow to get your Christmas shopping done early and buy now for 2014.

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The 5 People You Become After a Night of Drinking
The 5 People You Become After a Night of Drinking

You can only learn the most about people when you are totally hammered.

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5 Amazing Pieces of Good News Nobody Is Reporting
5 Amazing Pieces of Good News Nobody Is Reporting

You can sit around and worry about debt ceilings and terror attacks, but take a moment to appreciate that you happen to be alive during the golden age of humanity.

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5 Reasons 2013 Was Actually 1996 All Over Again
5 Reasons 2013 Was Actually 1996 All Over Again

This year was not the year you thought it was. So if you wrongly believe what year it currently is, this will be the most important thing you will read all year. Year year year.

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