Cracked Archive - News
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene Laughs At Question Referencing Dead Children
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
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22
22 Facebook Doesn't Kill People, People and Deadly Viruses Kill People, President Biden Clarifies
Despite President Joe Biden's bold campaign promises of “no malarkey" throughout his 2020 campaign, it seems the American people can still have a little malarkey as a treat.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 11
No, The Tokyo Olympics Does Not Have 'Anti-Sex' Beds, Athletes, Reporters Say
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 2
Sen. Lindsey Graham: 'I Will Go To War' For Chick-fil-A
“I want everyone in South Carolina and across America to know I have Chick fil-A’s back,” he wrote.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 28
Report: Trump-Branded 'Freedom Phone' May Actually Be Budget Device From Asia
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, a MAGA phone?
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 27
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Dogecoin's Co-Founder Says Crypto Is Like A Pyramid Scheme
Doge's co-creator doesn't feel "very wow" about the crypto he helped invent.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 4
Ding-Dong Central Shoehorns The Free Britney Movement Into Their Nonsense
The #FreeBritney movement has a whole host of wacky new "supporters."
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 7
Australian Prime Minister Denies Pooping His Pants At McDonalds
Poop happens ... or does it?
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 8
Microsoft Threatens To Bring Back Clippy
Our favorite aggressively altruistic anthropomorphic paperclip may soon rise from Microsoft's vast graveyard of defunct features to annoy us once again.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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- Comments
- 8
President Joe Biden Taps Throwback Thirst Traps, Teen Superstar Olivia Rodrigo, To Get Us Out Of This Mess
Presidential thirst traps are the new PSAs.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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- Comments
- 6
A Woman Single-Handedly Recorded 40,000 VHS News Tapes
For more than 30 years, Marion Stokes spent her life preserving media reports in the hopes of combating fake news.
- Authors
- By Zanandi Botes
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Job Applicants Are Now Expected To Be Elle Woods Applying to Harvard With TikTok's New Resume Feature
"What, like *it's hard?" (it's being making a 1-3 minute custom video reiterating your professional experiences for a particular position)
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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- Comments
- 6
Gyms In South Korea's Capital Barred From Playing Fast Workout Music
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
- Comments
- 7
Move Over, Tide Pods: Dentists Warn Against TikTok Trend of Using Magic Eraser For Whitening Teeth
Please, please, please don't do this.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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- Comments
- 14
Burger King Workers Quit En Masse Via The Restaurant's Front Sign
Mass resignations -- have it your way!
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
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- 20
