Cracked Archive - News

5 Scary Questions About The Future (No One Wants To Ask)

Fixing the world means confronting these head-on ...

213

Stressed-Out Folks Are Hugging Cows (And Moo Can Blame Them)

The latest animal therapy trend just might be the right moooooove.

11

Woman Returns Stolen Items From Pompeii After 15 Years of Bad Luck

Did we not learn anything from 'Indiana Jones'?

14

Just In Time For Halloween, Someone's Selling Half A Christmas Tree

Just like the classic October jingle, 'Half a holly, jolly Christmas ...'

19

5 Chilling Murderers Who Met Their Ends In Ridiculous Twists

If you sign up to be a serial killer, chances are your own death will be very stupid.

54

Stripper Voting Campaign 'Get Your Booty To The Poll' Aims to Encourage Voting

As Stephen Colbert put it, 'that, my friends, is democracy at twerk.'

31

Japan's Super Mario Theme Park Looks Adorable (But Needs More Waluigi)

Time to go drown our sorrows in a Luigi soda, folks.

12

Reporters Keep Quoting Fake Van Halen Interview (Whoops)

Journalists, they're just like your grandma on Facebook!

6

Friendly Reminder That Kellyanne Conway's Daughter Is Still A Kid

To steal a quote from that one guy from 2007, leave Claudia alone.

51

'Sweater Guy' Ken Bone Is Not Someone To Listen To In 2020

Ken Bone is back, and as undecided as ever.

49

Prisoners Forced To Listen To 'Baby Shark' For Hours as Punishment

It's an inhuman punishment, doot doot doo doot doot doo.

23

Gay Twitter Is Taking Over the Proud Boys Hashtag

Finally, a news story that is actually all sunshine and rainbows.

61

Concerts in 2020 Are About To Be So Weird

Roblox isn't just for Lil Pump videos anymore.

6