25 Wild News Briefs That Rattled Our Cages

The fight for abortion rights has run into its latest hurlde: text formatting.
25 Wild News Briefs That Rattled Our Cages

We all know Las Vegas is a place where what happens there, stays there. But who knew that included killing somebody? A woman high on cocaine killed a drunk driver who was also high on meth while speeding down the strip. The paramedic attending to the driver's injuries found more than just cuts and bruises when “a small baggie containing a white substance fell out of the left side of her bra,” according to police reports. And in other news, Mississippi used $1.1 million in federal welfare funds meant for Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) to pay professional athlete Brett Favre for speeches he never made, which is truly one of the suckiest ways to treat poor people's money. And on that same unfortunate note… in the UK, the Benyon Estate hiked up rents by 3% for  tenants living in east London, suggesting they use food banks when they can no longer afford their new rent prices. They called this increase “fair.”

TikTokers are telling viewers to point their genitals at the sun to 'increase your vibrations.'

Butthole sunning is the new thing taking off on social media. - wessenger - Л TikTok CRACKED.COM Influencers on TikTok (of course) are telling their viewers that pointing their exposed genitals at the sun increases your vibrations, whatever that means.


Cartersville deputy police chief paid cash and White Claws for prostitute.

A Florida police chief tried to pay for a prostitute with White Claws. - - MATTE CLAW HARD SELTIVO LEMON . GRAGKED.COM The woman the chief thought he was buy- ing through an escort service turned out to be an undercover de- tective.


Nigel Farage has challenged Boris Johnson to a boxing match

Nigel Farage challenged former Prime Minister Boris Johnson to a boxing match. GRAGKED.COM Farage made the chal- lenge while attending a London arena to watch Youtuber KSI box, so if you want to know if we are living in the bad time- line - Yes, we are.


A Canadian citizenship ceremony was delayed after officials were confused whom to swear allegiance.

A Canadian citizenship ceremony was paused while officials figured out who to swear allegiance to after the Queen's death. CRACKED.COM When the participants took the citizenship oath, they swore allegiance to Sa majesté le roi Charles III, roi du Canada - His Majesty King Charles III, King of Canada.


Virginia restaurant receives backlash for insensitive 9/11 menu.

A Virginia restaurant is apologizing for an insensitive 9/11menu. GRACKED.COM The Stafford County, Va. country club was offering a Never Forget Appetizer Sampler, a Flight 93 Re- direct hot crab dip, and a Remember-tini to wash it all down.


Chinese man gets trapped aloft in hydrogen balloon for 2 days.

A man was trapped in a hydrogen balloon as it sailed for 200 miles. CRACKED.COM The man was using the balloon to collect pine nuts in northeastern China when it became untethered. The man was found two days later, unhurt.

CBS News

A tiny town in regional Queensland is being overrun by aggressive kangaroos.

Aggressive kangaroos are taking over a Queensland town. CRACKED.COM People are walking around with a big stick now, says Caravan Park manager Karen Sutcliffe. I've been wanting to go fishing for an afternoon but I won't do that, just in case a kangaroo gets me.

AU News

Mysterious 7-foot pool of blood on pavement baffles investigators in Pennsylvania.

A mysterious, 7-foot wide pool of blood appeared outside a PA retirement home. CRACKED.COM Police Chief Chris Rauben- stine said All we can say about that amount of blood and ... is a very serious injury (has) occurred. No signs of struggle, or a body, have been found yet.


Box of live reptiles sent to wrong address, NY cops say.

A box of live reptiles was delivered to the wrong address in Port Chester, NY. CRACKED.COM The addressee was quite startled by the box of wriggling lizards, under- standably. The police de- partment caught the scal- ies and Animal Nation took over their care.

Miami Herald

Harvard astronomer Avi Loeb thinks debris from a meteor that fell into the ocean could be alien technology.

A Harvard astronomer thinks alien technology fell into the ocean. CRACKED COM Avi Loeb, of the Har- vard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics, believes the 2-foot meteor that entered Earth's atmosphere and ex- ploded into fragments in 2014 may have been alien tech, and wants to retrieve it.


The pilot of a small plane threatens to crash into a Walmart.

A Mississippi airport worker stole a small plane and threatened to crash it into a Wal-Mart. Walmart Home Office CRACKED.COM Cory Wayne Patterson worked for Tupelo Aviation, fueling planes, so he had some flight training but was not a licensed pilot. Patterson wrote a goodbye message on Face- book, but was talked down to a safe landing.


2 people removed from U.S. Open quarterfinals after one gave the other a haircut in the stands.

Two men were removed from the US Open stands after one gave the other a haircut. GRACKED.COM Complete with a set of trimmers and a bar- ber's smock, the fans were escorted from their seats and thrown out for disruption of play.

CBS News

Blackfield & Langley FC goalkeeper sent off for urinating in a hedge.

A Football Cup goalkeeper peed in a hedge during a game. CRACKED.COM Connor Maseko of Hamp- shire side Blackfield & Langley FC answered Na- ture's call during the 76th minute of the exciting 0-0 game, which ended in a draw.


Want to lay off workers more smoothly? There's a startup for that.

There is now a startup that offers other businesses tools to lay off their workers. LAYOFFNOTICE CRACKED.COM The company Continuum charges a flat fee for layoff consulting services, and the fee escalates with headcount. There is big money to be made in not having to pay a percentage of your workforce anymore.


NFT Game Consultant Says Poor People Could Be NPCs.

An NFT game consultant thinks players in developing countries could work as Non-Playable Characters. Yeur MOYM er CRACKED.COM With the cheap labor of a developing coun- try, you could use peo- ple in the Philippines as NPCs, real-life NPCs in your game, said Mikhai Kossar.


Bridge collapses while being declared open in Congo.

A new bridge in Congo collapsed as soon as the ribbon was cut. CRACKED.COM Must have been a load-bearing ribbon, you don't want to cut those. No immediate injuries were re- ported, while measures were taken to rescue the people stranded on the collapsed bridge.


Escaped chimpanzee returns to Kharkiv zoo on keeper’s bicycle.

An escaped chimp from a Ukrainian zoo came back riding a bicycle. CRACKED.COM Chichi the chimp wasn't coming back to her han- dlers until it started to rain, by which point she ran back to her keeper, who put a coat on her and sat her atop a bike.

The Guardian

Man impersonating officer pulls over deputy.

A man impersonating a police officer pulled over an off-duty sheriff's deputy. CRACKED.COM Jose Flores Ortiz activated a light bar on the dash of his Dodge Durango and began brake-checking the deputy. When he finally pulled over, Ortiz charged his vehicle, prompting the officer to pull out his weapon.


Jesus was the first person to play cricket, historians in the UK have claimed.

UK historians are claiming that Jesus was the first person to play cricket. S صحت CRACKED GOM The renowned and well-published historians discussed, on their pod- cast, how the Son of God's ability to walk on water aided him in the game, thousands of years before it was invented.


Word spacing issue keeps abortion rights amendment from ballot.

The fight for abortion rights has run into its latest hurlde: text formatting. MY BODY MY CHOICE GRAGKED.COM A petition to enshrine abortion rights in Michigan was rejected by republi- cans after a few small er- rors in word spacing was called a severe defect and made it gibberish.

Detroit News

Paralysed woman forced to go to bank by ambulance to renew ATM card.

A paralized woman took an ambulance to the bank to renew her ATM card. 34.5k CRACKED.COM In response to the bank's refusal to help ease the card renewal process, the family of the ill woman in Malaysia had to use an emergency vehicle to shut- tle her so she could physi- cally be at the branch.

The vibes

Musk cited possible “World War III” as reason to break Twitter deal, text shows.

Elon Musk is trying to use the threat of WWTII as a reason to break his Twitter deal. CRACKED.COM It won't make sense to buy Twitter if we're heading into World War III, Musk wrote to Mor- gan Stanley's head of global technology in- vestment banking.

Ars Technica

Landlord directs tenants to food banks following £1,000 rent hike.

A landlord hiked up the rent for their tenants by £1,000 and suggested they use food banks. IL Sex Take Pasta 8X a Text Take 1 - - - - CRACKED.COM The Benyon Estate, run by the family of Lord Benyon who owns a property port- folio of 371 homes in east London, decided to in- crease rents by 3% in Au- gust, calling it fair.


The nation's poorest state used welfare money to pay Brett Favre for speeches he never made.

Mississippi used $1.1 million in federal welfare funds to pay Brett Favre for speeches he never made. CRACKED.COM The Mississippi state audi- tor discovered that $70 million in TANF welfare funds were doled out to the multimillionaire ath- lete, a professional wres- tler, a horse farm and a volleyball complex.


What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?

A speeding woman on cocaine killed a drunk driver who was high on meth in Vegas. CRACKED.COM While a trauma paramed- ic was attending to the driver's injuries, a small baggie containing a white substance fell out of the left side of her bra, po- lice said.

8 News Now 

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