Cracked Archive - Celebrities

Jesse Ventura Running For President Would Be Bonkers

We're hoping to see at least one clothesline.


A 'Paparazzi-Proof' House Sounds Super Annoying

The cost of avoiding paparazzi goes way beyond the literal price tag.


Early Celebrity Photos That Don't Look Like The Same Person

Even people who are constantly photographed can be unrecognizable.


Amy Schumer's Baby's Name Was Accidentally A Great Joke

Joke names aren't hard to come up with, but it's special when they actually show up on the birth certificate.


Henry Cavill Is An Apex Nerd

Superman's hobby is super small.


Weird Ways Famous Stars Got Their Big Breaks

Turns out movie stars are still getting their big breaks in weird ways.


It's Been A Big Week For Ugly Celebrity Houses

Is it a Canadian thing? Is that why Justin Bieber's and Drake's houses are so hideous?


Aunt Becky's Daughters' Couldn't Even Fake Rowing Photos

A picture is worth a thousand words, and even more in 'donation money.'


Zach Braff’s 24 Year Old Girlfriend, Florence Pugh, Wants People To Leave Him Alone

Zach Braff isn't the first celebrity to date someone more than half his age, but he might be the most pathetic.


Netflix, For God's Sake, Please Call Selena's Husband

Wouldn't you want to know anything about a Netflix series where you're going to be portrayed?


OJ Has Found A New Low Using 'Tiger King'

OJ's twitter video is so bizarre that one has to wonder if it is intentional.


Stuck At Home, Instagram Influencers Are Slowly Going Insane

Influencers, they're just like us!


Samuel Jackson Has Another Bedtime Story For Us

Take it from one of the toughest guys on the planet -- stay the F**K at home.


Glasses Down Everybody, Ina Garten Wins At Alcohol Forever

'Go big or go home' only leaves you one option when you're drinking alone in your kitchen.