23 Jokes We Wish We Could Give ‘That Was a Good Joke’ Trophies To
![23 Jokes We Wish We Could Give ‘That Was a Good Joke’ Trophies To](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/3/2/878932_320x180.jpg)
Watch your back Oscars! We’ve forged a solid gold “That Was a Good Joke” trophy to distribute in recognition of all the pretty good jokes out there. It’s solid gold, and definitely not a block of wood spray-painted a slightly off-yellow color. Congratulations to all the comedians who will be receiving one today, we hope it will be placed in a position of honor among any other awards you may have received.
Chris Rock
![Chris Rock CRACKED.COM You don't need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars... You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thou- sand dollars there would be no more in- nocent bystanders. In a hilarious piece of social commentary, this joke on his 1999 special, Bigger & Blacker came just a few months after the Columbine shooting, and a recent spike in nation- wide gun violence.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/3/0/878930.jpg)
Source: 15 More Jokes That Belong In The Comedy Hall Of Fame
Tina Fey
![COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. Tina Fey](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/8/878928.jpg)
Maria Bamford
![Maria Bamford Bong ercer TS Bi CRACKED.COM I think before giving me a credit card, they should have given me a math test. A series of story prob- lems. If Maria's boyfriend is in a folk band but he only smokes pot every other day, what percentage of the rent will he be able to contribute? Now I thought 50%. But the answer is zero. A calculator for hypotheti- cals... I'll take two!](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/7/878927.jpg)
Source: 15 More Jokes That Belong In The Comedy Hall Of Fame
Wanda Sykes
![Wanda Sykes CRACKED.COM I hate when women compare men to dogs. Men are not dogs. Dogs are loyal. I've never found any strange pant- ies in my dog's house. Good boy.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/6/878926.jpg)
Source: 15 More Jokes That Belong In The Comedy Hall Of Fame
George Carlin
![George Carlín CRACKED.COM Electricity is really just organized lightning. Imagining lighting shuf- fling itself into an orga- nized little stream for our Vitamix is just fun (and smart).](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/5/878925.jpg)
Source: 15 More Jokes That Belong In The Comedy Hall Of Fame
Jerry Seinfeld
![COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM The Swiss Army. Never been involved in a war in 200 years. It's a lucky thing. Did you ever see this little Swiss Army knife? Corkscrews, bottle opener, nail file. You don't want to go to war with this little thing. Jerry Seinfeld](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/3/878923.jpg)
Sarah Silverman
![COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM I can't wait till Sunday. I'm gonna see my favorite niece and my other niece. Sarah Silverman](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/2/878922.jpg)
Chevy Chase
![COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM The post office is issuing a stamp commemorating prostitution in the United States. It's a 10-cent stamp, but if you lick it, it's a quarter. Chevy Chase with writer Alan Zweibel](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/1/878921.jpg)
John Mulaney
![COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM I'm like an iPhone. It's going to be worse versions of this every year, plus I get super hot in the middle of the afternoon for no reason. John Mulaney](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/0/878920.jpg)
Steven Wight
![Steven Wright CRACKED.COM I've been getting into astronomy so I in- stalled a skylight. The people who live above me are furious. Neil deGrasse Tyson would be proud.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/1/8/878918.jpg)
Source: 15 More Jokes That Belong In The Comedy Hall Of Fame
Rodney Dangerfield
![Rodney Dangerfield CRACKED.COM I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toast- er and a radio. Норе- fully there were some sweet tunes on that ra- dio.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/1/6/878916.jpg)
Source: 15 More Jokes That Belong In The Comedy Hall Of Fame
Richard Pryor
![COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings. And lawyers. Richard Pryor](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/1/4/878914.jpg)
Maria Bamford
![COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM I've never really thought of myself as depressed as much as paralyzed by hope. Maria Bamford](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/1/5/878915.jpg)
Rodney Dangerfield
![COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM My mother never breast-fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. Rodney Dangerfield](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/1/2/878912.jpg)
George Carlin
![COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM Atheism is a non- prophet organization. George Carlin](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/1/1/878911.jpg)
Bill Hicks
![Bill Hicks CRACKED.COM People tell me, 'Bill, let it go. The Ken- nedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a Presi- dent and the hijacking of our govern- ment by a totalitarian regime - who cares? Just let it go.' I say, 'All right then. That whole Jesus thing? Let it go! It was 2,000 years ago! Who cares? From his 1993 album (eerily titled) Revelations one year before he passed away.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/9/878909.jpg)
Source: 15 More Jokes That Belong In The Comedy Hall Of Fame
Bob Saget
![Bob Saget CRACKED.COM I told my girlfriend. Tonight when I come home, I wanna make love to you badly, and she said, 'At least you don't overestimate yourself. Just a quick one. The joke. The joke was a quick one. Thanks, Bob - RIP.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/7/878907.jpg)
Source: 15 More Jokes That Belong In The Comedy Hall Of Fame
Amy Schumer
![Amy Schumer CRACKED.COM I usually feel pretty good about myself. I know what I look like. You'd bang me, but you wouldn't blog about it. You won't be Twittering You won't believe who I'm inside. It's fine. Guys... Totally got laid last night. By who? It's not import- ant.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/1/0/878910.jpg)
Source: 15 More Jokes That Belong In The Comedy Hall Of Fame
Mitch Hedberg
![Mitch Hedberg CRACKED.COM I like vending machines... because snacks are better when they fall. If I go buy a candy bar in a store, often times I will drop it, so it reaches it's maximum flavor potential. Isaac Newton would agree.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/8/878908.jpg)
Source: 15 More Jokes That Belong In The Comedy Hall Of Fame
Aziz Ansari
![COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM I'm not going to have any struggles to tell my kids about. What's my story going to be like? 'Ah, son, once, when I was flying from New York to L.A., my iPad died!' Aziz Ansari](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/5/878905.jpg)
Chris Rock
![COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry people ain't allergic to S---. You think anyone in Rwanda's got a f--- lactose intolerance? Chris Rock](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/3/878903.jpg)
Amy Schumer
![COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM My mom's always saying really smart things, like, 'Why buy the cow when the milk has HPV?' Wish I'd listened to that one. Amy Schumer](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/6/878906.jpg)
Ali Wong
![COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM People ask me how on Earth do you balance work and career? Men never get asked that question because they don't. Ali Wong](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/4/878904.jpg)