13 Celebrities Who Make Surprising Cameos in True-Crime Stories

By:
13 Celebrities Who Make Surprising Cameos in True-Crime Stories

You know the feeling. You got the kids to bed, you cracked a box of wine, and you sat down to your favorite true-crime show when all of a sudden Ashton Kutcher rears his slightly weathered Kelso-lookin’ mug. How did this incredibly low budget Investigation Discovery show land an A-lister like him? Well, they didn’t. Your kid-fueled sleep deprivation and that third sip of that burgundy bliss has you imagining things. Go to sleep. Then dream of a world where this is possible. Here, we’ll help.

We all hear that celebrities are just like you and we, and in some cases that’s a crock of horse shit, but in other cases (literal case files in a detective’s desk), they’re like us in that they too find themselves involved in criminal activity. Right, guys? Right? We’re not talkin’ about your run of the mill Lindsay Lohan mug shot for whatever club-related silliness she got up to. We mustered up a cluster of celebrities who were somehow mixed up with kidnapping, assault, and even murder. Here are 13 celebrities who (if the ID channel got off their lazy asses and produced one) would make surprising cameos in a true-crime series.

Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.

Gordon… These aren’t Hell's Kitchen contestants. They’re basically pirates.

CRACKED GORDON RAMSAY WAS ALMOST MURDERED BY SHARK POACHERS. In 2011, on Sharkbait, he confronted Taiwanese shark-fin smugglers. They doused him in gasoline and threatened to light him up. His crew were lined up and threatened at gunpoint, but the police luckily intervened just in time.

Scientific American / EW 

This was a complete shock to the hip hop community.

CRACKED JAM MASTER JAY'S MURDER WENT UNSOLVED FOR ALMOST 20 YEARS. The Run-DMC DJ was murdered in 2002 during a recording session, and the case remained cold until Karl Jordan and Ronald Washington were charged in 2021. Their trial is set to take place in 2024.

ABC / Rollingstone 

The fuckin’ Catalina Wine Mixer. (Sorry).

CRACKED NATALIE WOOD'S DEATH REMAINS A MYSTERY. The Oscar nominated Rebel Without a Cause actor died mysteriously in 1981 while filming Brainstorm on Catalina Island. Her death was listed as suspicious, and her ex-husband Robert Wagner remained a person of interest until 2022. The case remains cold.

Page Six / Life 

We got him for ya, Michelle!

CRACKED PATTON OSWALT'S WIFE HELPED CATCH THE GOLDEN STATE KILLER. Michelle McNamara wrote I'll Be Gone in the Dark: One Woman's Obsessive Search for the Golden State Killer, and even helped coin the moniker Golden State Killer. Detectives cite her work as helping catch him (Joseph DeAngelo), but she sadly died before finding out who he was.

The Guardian

Ashton was dealing with some serious shit while filming That ‘70s Show.

CRACKED THE HOLLYWOOD RIPPER MURDERED ASHTON KUTCHER'S GIRLFRIEND. In 2001, Ashton Kutcher was late to pick up his then-girlfriend Ashley Ellerin at her house. Не testified that he thought it was red wine in her house, but Ellerin was stabbed to death. The Hollywood Ripper, Michael Gargiulo, was given the death penalty.

Yahoo

Scroll down for the next article

Must Read

My Very Gonzo Life

A conversation with Dave Goelz, the man who for nearly 50 years has served as the voice and puppeteer of Gonzo — the pain-loving, dare-deviling, chicken-dating, Charles Dickens-impersonating, furry blue star of the Muppets

Authors
By
Published
Comments
Comments 1

MUST READ

Forgot Password?