Cracked Archive - Celebrities


13 Bizarre Secrets Behind Celebrity Careers

Witchcraft? Worldwide conspiracy? You always knew there was something else at play behind Lady Gaga or whoever your most hated celebrity is.


The 5 Dumbest Nicknames (and Why the Media Uses Them)

The media's nicknames are incredibly stupid. Not the public figures behind them. Not always.


Donald Trump's 4 Most Hilarious Attempts at a Good Idea

Donald Trump is not all veiled racism and self-aggrandizing mockubation. How could he have gotten where he is in life with no good qualities?


The 8 Greatest Eddie Murphy Movies of All Time

We asked some of your favorite Cracked writers to pick their favorite Eddie Murphy movie, and defend their picks in a sudden-death, no-holds-barred cage match of thoughtful, comedy enthusiasm.


5 Celebrities Who Get More Hate Than They Deserve (Part 2)

Without further ado, here are five celebrities who get way more hate than they deserve.


If Every Celebrity Got Their Own Batmobile

Every famous person roles around in their own personalized, Batmobile style vehicles in the version of Hollywood in our mind.


12 Interchangeable Celebrities You Probably Get Confused

Hollywood has a clone factory, and occasionally they screw up and let multiple clones out at the same time.


The 6 Strangest Previous Careers of Famous Musicians

Apparently, rock stars who actually had serious careers going before the whole music thing panned out, and some of them are rather mind-blowing.


7 Celebrity Animals: Where Are They Now? (A Drunk Column)

There's a good chance this will end with me throwing up on the carpet. So let's get started!


The 12 Most Ridiculous Celebrity Self-Portraits

The art of rendering one's own image on canvas is still going strong -- even in this era of the much more elegant iPhone mirror pic. As with everything else, celebrities do self-portraits better than us laypeople. Or at least they do them much, much weirder.


Introducing Two Wealthy Young Celebrities You Will Soon Hate

The Brant brothers make the Kardashians look like they deserve to be famous.


I Created Kristen Stewart: An Apology

The year was 2002. A young Gary Busey was wowing us all in Slap Shot 2: Breaking the Ice, and some upstart Canadians called Nickelback were teaching us all how to rock again. And how to love. And your humble narrator? I was up to my nuts in Hollywood intrigue.


5 Famous People Who Secretly Had Awesome Second Careers

Somewhere, there's an alternate reality completely different from ours, where the following people went with their first career choice (for better or worse).


14 Photographs That Shatter Your Image of Famous People

When you step out the door, you're playing a role. Whether you're a hippie, stock broker, police officer or biker, you dress the way the world expects you to dress, you act the way the world expects you to act. So you can imagine how much more intense this is for celebrities, whose very careers depend on managing a public image down to the molecule


7 Things You Learn Breaking into P. Diddy's House

You can learn some valuable lessons about life, and more importantly about P. Diddy while pulling a Goldilocks on P Diddy's house.