Cracked Archive - Celebrities

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The 12 Most Ridiculous Celebrity Self-Portraits

The art of rendering one's own image on canvas is still going strong -- even in this era of the much more elegant iPhone mirror pic. As with everything else, celebrities do self-portraits better than us laypeople. Or at least they do them much, much weirder.

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7 Physical Mutations That Helped Famous Careers

We bet every one of you reading this has one weird thing about your body you'd change if you could. Not so fast, though -- as a whole bunch of famous people can tell you, a horrible deformity and/or physical mutilation can be the difference between failure and stardom.

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4 Reasons Zooey Deschanel Can Stop Pretending She's a Dork

If you're anything like me, you track rising movie starlets through a patented system of chicken bone voodoo and Precog upkeep. It's a good system but sometimes people fall through the cracks. Like when the lil' water baldies began rolling out the name 'Zooey' over and over again, I had to consult other sources to get a reading of what was up.

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Why Bill Murray Is The World's Greatest Mythological Figure

Bill Murray has become the urban equivalent of Bigfoot -- a mythical figure who generates sightings anywhere people are too drunk to totally trust their memory. Instead of being half-human, half-ape, Bill Murray exists somewhere between celebrities and the rest of us.

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5 Reasons Anyone Could Defeat the CIA in the Bourne Trilogy

You can inject new life into virtually any film or franchise by watching it again, only this time rooting for the bad guys. Really think through the scenario from their angle, and try to break down how they go about taking on the hero. More often than not, you'll find yourself scratching your head, or outright screaming at the screen.

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