This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
A common misconception about Excel is that it's only for numbers people. We imagine hunched-over mathematicians in a dark room, poring over cold hard data as they think back to that fateful day when they were dropped into a vat of radioactive numbers. But the truth is that Excel isn't for data nerds -- quite the opposite, actually. Microsoft Excel is a persuasion tool. It's designed for the creative types who don't know jack about numbers, but have a really cool idea and need their numbskull bosses to pay attention. So with that in mind, sit down and put on a cape, because we're going to tell you how learning Excel is the key to getting your superhero promotion ... and eventually, your evil takeover of corporate America.
Knowing Microsoft Office Skills Proves You're Not A Total Dummy
Let's get one thing straight: Your boss suspects you're a dummy. Don't worry, it's not your fault; it's just the default setting for employer-to-employee interaction. But until you prove yourself otherwise, your boss is going to continue suspecting you're a dummy. So if you load up a spreadsheet and have to ask, "Which square do all the numbers go in?" then you might as well leave it blank, because you won't be working there much longer. Learning Microsoft Office skills at even a basic level will at the very least prove to your boss that you are somewhat competent. But let's say you aspire to be more than "basically capable" ...
Advanced Excel Programming Is A Skill In Itself
While basic formulas are great for calculating how many packs of ramen noodles you absolutely need in order to survive this month, Excel macros can turn boring number tables into powerful number-crunching applications. If you have VBA scripting chops, you will be way closer to the top of the job applicant pile. To learn Excel's darkest secrets, eLearnExcel's training school has a course on writing macros in the Visual Basic for Applications programming language.
You Can Model Almost Anything With A Spreadsheet
Besides offering a unique canvas for digital paintings, spreadsheets can be used for anything from employee payroll to make a working version of Pac-Man. We're not saying gobbling up power pellets is the best use of your time; we just want you to know you have options. And that's our main point. At the end of the day, numbers are just tiny shapes we've ascribed meaning to. You can do whatever you want with them. But if you learn how to manage them, then you're the one that sets the narrative for your position. You can get lifetime access to the eLearnExcel Microsoft Excel School here for just $39.
I'm going to be an Excel god!
Yes, you'll be like Magneto, but if his powers only worked on graphs. Check out our complete catalog of training courses in the Cracked Store. You can also check out the Cracked Dispensary to find our pop culture mashups on T-shirts, art prints, and more. Now off to the data mines with you!
There's no point in working hard if you can't play even harder. So party on, Bane! But get your kicks early so you can bid the rest of the nightwalkers good night as you settle in for the best darn sleep of your life. You earned it, you had a big day.
For more ways work your way up the workplace ladder, check out 4 Crucial Skills That Will Help You Land That Corner Office.
Forget 'morale-boosters,' we'd rather have the money.
Trends among women trigger a level of contempt that's way beyond what is deserved.
Buckle up. This article is gonna be wild.