I ordered it because I was fascinated by what "curious supplies" meant to a person who regularly deals in cocoons and squirrel jaws. What I received was more than I could have hoped for. The box arrived about a week and a half after the column ran, which meant that she had plenty of time before sending it to read my article and, more specifically, the three long paragraphs where I, perhaps hastily, condemn her as a killer. Here's the note I got with the package:
My first thought was that she was surprisingly kind, considering I had hinted that maybe she pulls apart puppies as a hobby. My second thought was "I owe this poor woman a huge apology." But when I started to unwrap the items from the package, I realized that I could do so much more for her: I could build an apology out of the animal pieces instead.
So should you ever find yourself in a scenario where a very kind stranger mails you sectioned hunks of animals and you want to ensure that you stay in her good graces, I have compiled this blueprint for answering insanity with insanity. I call it: