Arkard

Arkard's Cracked photo
  • Real Name: Arkard
  • Location: Japan
  • Member Since: November 27th, 2008
  • Last Seen: May 24th, 2012 7:09 am
  • Personal tag line: Prodigious Polack
  • Message board posts: 4,477

About Arkard

Hi there.

My name is Cezary Jan Strusiewicz. I am a Polish comedy writer living in Japan who writes jokes for English-language websites (my favorite food is Italian and my clothes were made in China.) My full name has been classified as a Cat.A choking hazard for children under 3 and the elderly.

I am a Japanese translator by trade. Currently my other job is also being one of the Workshop Moderators for Cracked. I can be hired for writing gigs, translation projects or tours around the area of Tokyo, Yokohama, Kyoto, Osaka and Nara.

You can contact me via c.j.strusiewicz@gmail.com

Articles

  1. 5 Hallmarks of Bad Parenting That Are Actually Good for Kids
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,220,973 views
  2. The 5 Most Insane Examples of Chinese Counterfeiting
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 759,181 views
  3. 6 Insane (But Convincing) Theories on Children's Pop Culture
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,260,064 views
  4. The 7 Creepiest Places on Earth (Part 3)
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,218,390 views
  5. 6 Laws You've Broken Without Even Realizing It
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 2,354,581 views
  6. 5 Mind-Blowing Scientific Answers to Life's 'Big Questions'
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,329,760 views
  7. The 5 Weirdest Things That Control the Global Economy
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 746,816 views
  8. 6 Artists Whose Weird Fetishes Defined Pop Culture
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,212,275 views
  9. 8 Famous Movies Made by The Last Person You'd Ever Suspect
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,124,384 views
  10. 6 Important Things You Didn't Know We're Running Out Of
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 2,805,323 views
  11. 5 Insane Early Drafts of Famous Movie Characters
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,670,407 views
  12. 5 Styles That Defined Entire Eras (Were Made Up by Movies)
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 906,013 views
  13. 9 Famous Movie Villains Who Were Right All Along
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 6,944,111 views
  14. 6 Real People With Secret Identities Nobody Saw Coming
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,776,765 views
  15. The 6 Most Horrifying Ways Hospitals Can Kill You
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 807,800 views
  16. 5 Ways Porn Created the Modern World
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 2,284,886 views
  17. The 7 Most Horrifying Cost Cutting Measures of All-Time
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,986,034 views
  18. The 6 Creepiest Places on Earth (Part 2)
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 2,130,544 views
  19. 6 Habits You Didn't Know Were Keeping You Alive
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,979,801 views
  20. 6 Things Movie Characters Always Seem to Forget
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,870,114 views
  21. 9 Beloved Characters Made Horrifying by Japan
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 2,610,108 views
  22. 6 Completely Legal Ways The Cops Can Screw You
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 3,070,366 views
  23. 8 Real Grade Schools That Went Completely Insane
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,527,619 views
  24. 5 Superpowers We All Had as Babies (According to Science)
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 2,017,480 views
  25. The 7 Most Insane True Stories of Neighbors from Hell
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,330,001 views
  26. 6 Baffling Mistakes Criminals Apparently Make All the Time
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,424,534 views
  27. 6 Terrible Ideas That Science Says Will Save the Planet
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 847,671 views
  28. 6 Disastrous Ways Pop Culture Influences The Real World
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,270,809 views
  29. The 5 Most Statistically Full of Shit National Stereotypes
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 3,138,200 views
  30. 7 Bullshit Police Myths Everyone Believes (Thanks to Movies)
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 3,744,305 views
  31. 6 Life Saving Techniques From the Movies (That Can Kill You)
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 2,191,370 views
  32. 6 Movies With Uplifting Messages (That Can Kill You)
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,464,093 views
  33. 8 Online Fads You Didn't Know Were Invented Decades Ago
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,311,450 views
  34. 7 Things 'Good Parents' Do (That Screw Up Kids For Life)
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 4,246,985 views
  35. 6 Movie Plots Made Possible by Bafflingly Bad Decisions
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 2,060,540 views
  36. The 6 Creepiest Places on Earth
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 9,167,258 views
  37. 6 Magical Movie Items They Wasted on Bullshit
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,689,652 views
  38. 7 Iconic Characters They Saved from The Cutting Room Floor
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,363,146 views
  39. 7 Insane Ads That Have No Clue What They're Selling
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,092,113 views
  40. 6 Ways The Recession Has Made The World Suck Less
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 674,796 views
  41. 7 Random Animals That Decided The Course of History
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,094,507 views
  42. 10 Divorce Stories Too Strange to Make Up
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,874,018 views
  43. Yogurt Pepsi: 14 Horrifying Soft Drinks Around the World
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,103,718 views
  44. 10 Awesome Ads (For Traumatizing Children)
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,583,521 views
  45. 9 Real Life Mad Scientists
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,492,604 views
  46. 5 Horrific Serial Killers (Who Are Free Right Now)
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 1,981,954 views
  47. Bukkake of the Gods: Japan's Insane Creation Myths
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 428,833 views
  48. The 6 Most Sadistic Dishes From Around The World
    By: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 776,320 views

Videos

  1. How to Get Away With Watching Porn at Work (Using History)
    By: Abe Epperson, Cezary Jan Strusiewicz | | 96,937 views

Topics

  1. Poland
    By: Arkard | | 80,268 views
  2. Metal Music
    By: Arkard | | 112,275 views
  3. Hentai
    By: Arkard | | 24,702 views
  4. Ahmadinejad
    By: Arkard | | 1,970 views
  5. Ku Klux Klan
    By: Arkard | | 3,648 views
  6. The Shield
    By: Arkard | | 2,714 views
  7. Bob Kane
    By: Arkard | | 8,420 views
  8. The Ass
    By: Arkard | | 43,877 views
  9. My Name Is Earl
    By: Arkard | | 1,900 views

Account Tools

My Favorites

I have no favorites yet.

Cracked Friends