Real Name: Jacki
Member Since: July 25th, 2012
Jacki is the accidental result of the biological merging of a long line of lawyers and a longer line of outlaws, all of whom were drunks. Among her ancestors were Celtic Judges, called brehons, which explains her ability to write pages and pages of highly technical language, that, when examined closely, is actual really just one long sentence.
She often refers to herself in the third person, a gift inherited from her great, great, great, great, great, great, great, grandpa Moses who long evaded capture after shooting the Sheriff of Duval County by simply pointing in a random direction and stating, "I ain't Moses. He's Moses.", and then running away.
Though having written a screenplay that did actually advance to the quarter finals of the Nichols Fellowship contest and was later read by the sister of Ralph and Joseph Fiennes, (whom we can only assume is equally sexy as she was unavailable for tea the day we popped over the Pond), Jacki doesn't brag about her successes given the hundreds of works written by other family members whose combined publications, excluding local Letters to the Editor, total exactly zero.
Despite the many and varied ways her relatives have, for centuries, time and time again, failed spectacularly in almost every area of achievement, Jacki does not let this go to her head. As evidence of such, some have pointed to her pervasive use of inclusive pronouns when referring to herself for which she once offered the explanation, "We don't think it's fair that only one of us gets credit when there are so many us living in here."