Chris Bucholz is a Cracked columnist and your favorite comedy writer. He first rose to prominence in 1984 when he was pulled on stage to dance during a Bruce Springsteen music video. He has since done many other things.
A variety of men, ranging from unattractive all the way up to unappealing, visit storage facilities that are holding forfeited property auctions. There, they bid on lots of goods, hoping they'll stumble upon something incredibly valuable, like antiques, or a hat made of hundred dollar bills, or the most valuable thing of all: imagination.
The television has just aired a bulletin indicating that the police wish to question you regarding threats you've made to beloved actress Helen Mirren. What do you do?
Hello new college students! You're 17 or 18. You're a Cracked fan. You shouldn't be, we use a lot of adult language here, but I guess that's in the past now. You're an adult now.
we've cataloged the different types of commenters available on the market today, listed which sites on the Internet have the worst commenters, and even provided advice on how to write more effective spam comments. But we haven't yet tackled the more fundamental question of whether there's even any value in allowing barely sentient ass-breathers to
Welcome champion. This is the guide you were looking for. In the next few scrolls of your mouse wheel, you'll learn all the do's and double-do's of how to successfully attack an animal with a bicycle chain. I encourage you to use this advice as you make your way through the world, attacking animals and not telling anybody where you learned how.
in the past few years, great leaps forward in the educational and poop-concealing realms has brought the prospect of grooming one's own personal renaissance-ape within reach. And as many of my readers have both mislaid priorities and great loneliness, I knew this was something they'd be interested in.
But time passed, and the bloggers started getting worn out, tired with the hectic pace of updating multiple times a day. They began writing longer posts that appeared less frequently, eventually shape-shifting into a MILF-ish group whom we now call the Cracked Columnists. By late 2008, the Cracked Blog was dead, a loss which would soon rattle the w
A new study has shown that our mental abilities may be deteriorating thanks to the easy access we have to online search engines. Bits of knowledge that we intuitively know will be available via Google or wikipedia (pornography and lists of Rainbow Brite episodes, respectively) don't get remembered, and instead essentially get replaced with mental l
I'd like to step in to the guidance vacuum left by Oprah when she disappeared. I freely admit that part of this decision comes from my deep concern for the physical and spiritual well being of my fellow man. I somewhat begrudgingly admit that I'm also interested in the billions of dollars Oprah made serving in this capacity.
I went through that friends list with a scythe, casting out anyone who I hadn't worked with, or gotten drunk with, or fantasized about getting drunk with. I was ruthless, just totally not caring what effect this might have on my suddenly Bucholz-less non-friends. So if there was a wave of really bad poetry sweeping the Internet last spring, I guess
