The Smurfs is the Worst Movie Ever
So this Smurfs movie came out this past weekend. If you'd been hanging out online you might have noticed that prior to the release of the film, many of the foremost scholars and thinkers of the Internet predicted doom for it. "What are you, fucking serious? A Smurf movie?" they said, as one.Well, fucking serious someone was, and indeed $36.2 million dollars worth of these someones even went and saw the film. Which raises the question: Do these people know something we don't? Do they not get the Internet? Are Smurfs fans that much smarter than us, our intellectual and cultural superiors? As an institution that hasn't met an intellectual superior that it hasn't spat in the face of, Cracked had to find out. And because no one at Cracked with any power over their own job duties wanted to see the goddamned Smurf movie, I got to. First some background, for any of our readers who are well balanced, with normal life-priorities, who may not know too much about Smurfs. Smurfs are a group of little blue creatures who originated as mascots for a 1980s cereal which, due to hilariously excessive levels of food dye, caused children's poop to change color.
For more from Bucholz, check out Watchmen: How It Could Have Been A Lot Worse and Joaquin Phoenix's Crazy Diary.