HoratioPotatio Alcatraz

Real Name: HoratioPotatio

Member Since: June 30th, 2014

About Me:
Born and raised in a field in some weird-ass farm in the middle of god know's where, I lived the ordinary life of a potato. Spent my days chillin and holding on to some tasty insoluble glucose snacks for my buddy, the plant. That was until some douche in overalls and a straw-hat pulled me out of the ground. Turns out he was gonna boil me and eat me. As soon as I heard about this I hauled ass and rolled out of the window. Kept on rolling for years. At first it was just to get as far from the lunatic farmer as potatoly possible (if you humans can say humanly why can't I say potatoly? #equality4potatoes). Later I kept at it to experience the world, met a lot of great people and had tons of fun along the way.

Currently in jail for insurance fraud.