Sorry, folks, we're busy making America great again over here. Stay safe!
Is it ok to randomly punch a Nazi? This is the question that plunged the Cracked staff into the chaos of relatively polite disagreement.
Big business has all sorts of tricks and schemes to increase their profit share, and almost all of them make them look like a waxily mustachioed cartoon villain.
Here are a few tips for surviving certain disaster which, tragically, came too late to save poor, majestic Reader No. 42287.
Seriously, we can put a robot on Mars but we can't sort this stuff out.
While some organizations have tried to distract people with weird mascots, there aren't enough Tony the Tigers in the world that can make people forget all this.
Defense lawyers just can't cut a break with society.
It's time we stop making fools of ourselves.
A few years ago, I stood on the corner of a major intersection and seriously thought about throwing myself into traffic.
Sometimes a lawbreaker executes a crime so flawlessly that you literally have to be Sherlock to solve it.
'Florida' and 'utopia' go together like orange juice and toothpaste.
Maybe pencil this stuff in for next year.
If there's one thing we know a lot about, it's college. Or, back when we were in college, we knew a lot about it. Nowadays, not so much.
At this point, using these quotes correctly would confuse people.