Cracked Archive - Weird World

5 Ways to Spot a B.S. Political Story in Under 10 Seconds

To learn anything useful during an election year, you need to be able to sort through all of the garbage to find the actual information and insight. So let me just tell you right now that you can safely ignore any story if you follow these steps.

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The 6 Creepiest Sexual Encounters in Comic Book History

Comic books have mastered the art of finding new and creative ways of making sex bizarrely unappealing, even to people who read comic books.

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5 Supposedly Badass Criminals Caught in Embarrassing Ways

Criminal masterminds do exist; there are bad guys who have gotten away with their deeds for decades without ever leaving enough evidence behind for the cops to make a case. Yet, when these guys eventually get caught, the reason is usually exactly as stupid as that time your neighborhood meth head got nailed for trying to steal a cop car with the co

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18 Unfortunate Offspring of Cartoon Character Mating

Cartoon characters have children all the time, and they always look like more adorable versions of the parent. But with all the different anthropomorphic characters floating around, there are sure to be some genetic monstrosities.

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5 Tips for Drinking Responsibly (While at Work)

If no one else in the office gets to drink, that means you get to be the Barry Bonds of the joint by harnessing all of alcohol's career improving benefits for yourself.

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5 True Tales of Good Fortune With Horribly Cruel Plot Twists

If life loves to beat one lesson into our heads over and over again, it's this: If something is too good to be true, it almost always is. Just ask these people.

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The 17 Most Important Things Said About the 2012 NFL Draft

For the handful of you who weren't following along live, we covered the 2012 NFL draft live last night. On the job from the Cracked war-room, we had Soren Bowie (our resident NFL expert and a die hard Broncos fan) as well as Cody Johnston (has a last name that sounds sort of like that of Magic and Michael Johnson, who are both athletes).

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6 Old-Timey Comics Straight Out of a (Bad) Acid Trip

Why is it that Batman (1939) and Superman (1938) endured when all of the other comic book characters from that era were forgotten? Well, it's partly because they were absolutely insane. Behold the dark madness ...

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6 'Luxury' Spa Treatments for the Extremely Rich and Insane

Different people find different things relaxing. Some people enjoy a nice massage, others enjoy elephants stepping on them.

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What Inanimate Objects Are Thinking

Humans are never stupider than when we're lashing out at an inanimate object we failed to use correctly, or just stubbed our toe on. Thankfully, the objects are much better at holding their tongues. We asked you to show us the things they're thinking but don't say aloud.

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If the Avengers Were 10 Times Manlier

The Avengers are Earth's mightiest heroes: a viking god, a bipolar nerd, an alcoholic weapons dealer, and the living symbol of a country that has to borrow numbers from China in order to measure its obesity rate. This month, Man Comics is retelling The Avengers' incredible origin story-- a tale so filled with virility that it would be impolite to s

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The 5 Depressing Lessons We Learned from Highlights Magazine

I can't say for certain whether most of what Highlights taught me was intentional, but with a slogan like 'Fun with a Purpose' I have a hard time believing they did anything that wasn't deliberate.

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18 Images You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped (Part 9)

As we've demonstrated many times before in our most popular feature on Cracked, the forces of the universe love the sound of people shouting 'Fake!' at their computer screens, and photographers love to capture the proof.

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19 Educational Cartoons That Would've Ruined Your Education

When teachers had a bad enough day or hangover, or had to teach a subject they'd meant to call in sick for (we're looking at you Sex Ed) they could always turn down the lights and outsource the lesson plan to animated educational videos. We asked you to show us some cartoons that would have been catastrophically bad substitute teachers.

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6 Nobodies Who Turned Into Superheroes Without Warning

Next time someone tells you to get a hobby, might we suggest stopping suicides?

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