David Johnson

Ezeggs (if that IS his real name) (which it isn't) started his carrier...caar....carrrrre.....job as the head writer for Famous Mattress Tags magazine in the Spring of 21012. Later he aided in the development of Time Travel technology so that he could come back to 2009 and actually found the rag..er, mag. Unfortunately he discovered that no sane person gave a rat's (not even those really smelly ugly rats from NY sewers) ass about it. So he folded the magazine and then ceased production before the first issue had actaully been printed, shipping the unsold copies to MAD magazine, who of course printed them as "Special supplement" (cover price:the ass of one rat) and applied to work at Cracked.com, despite having no online experience, or in fact even a computer. His success there eventually led him to a position of sufficient authority that he could write his own bio.

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