It's important that you match Santa with the appropriate product. Like a 1-900 rap line.
Some of you kids barely remember 1-900 numbers. You really had to be there. It was the waning days of the 20th century and all bets were off. Everybody, their brother and Santa Claus had a 900 number which you could call to listen to some pre-recorded message, and then be charged outrageous amounts of money. The entire industry was built on tricking kids into calling, knowing that by the time Mom and Dad saw the phone bill, it would be too late.
Behind that Santa beard is an evil genius
That's the thing; not only can anybody use Santa, but people still trust him. Well, kids trust him. Suddenly it's, "Mommy, can I have a coke?" "Mommy, can I call 1-900-raps?" "Mommy, can you pick me up a carton of Lucky Strikes?"