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Two years ago, we took you inside the insane world of Japanese Halloween costumes. Last year we visited the dark carnival that is the German Halloween industry. So how to top that this year? What nation or ethnic group would we slander next? Mexico is a fairly reliable whipping boy. Everyone hates Italians, how about them? Also, fuck Mongolia. Well, it turns out that Japan is just way, way better at this than anyone else. So to keep it interesting, we've decided to throw the strangest costumes the rest of the world can muster against the Japanese. Sort of a World War of costumes that will haunt your dreams. #35.
We didn't even know we wanted to see the Japanese take on Eddie Murphy in Delirious, but now we can't imagine how we lived without it. #34.
Hey folks! There's a party in my pants! Only one guy's shown up so far, but he seems in pretty high spirits. #33.
Cobalt Rape Demon, a character from a popular Japanese children's cartoon. #32.
We're hoping Inter-racial limb and scalp transplants are a pretty big thing in Japan, because otherwise this is pretty inexplicable. We honestly can't tell if this is racist or not. #31.
This is a little clearer. #30.
#29.
See, now that's classic "huge fake penis" funny. Just be careful to not hang around schools in this one. #28.
Leaving Japan for a stretch, this is actually a pretty good lobster costume, but also a perfect example of why men with mustaches don't get modeling work anywhere but Germany. #27.
Russia has a weird relationship to western culture. They'll spend decades denouncing capitalism, and then wait in line for hours to taste a Big Mac. Or in this case, a Russian kid will murder an American icon and then use the severed head to compliment his pantyhose. #26.
This is not a costume you wear if you want to meet women. This is a costume you wear if you want to meet victims. #25.
Sort of a furry meets Eyes Wide Shut thing going on here. For at least a couple reasons, this looks like it would be a nightmare to clean. #24.
Included for both the terrifying dead eyes, and for how pronounced the camel-toe is on this costume. #23.
Fake noses are a pain in the ass for costumes, given their propensity to fall off while drinking or engaging in certain sex acts, but we don't think this is the answer. These guys look like they're about to hold up a Hallmark store. #22.
Of course anything Westerners can do, the Japanese can do crazier. This is evidently some sort of Fourth Reich Reindeer superhero. #21.
We were going to make some sort of "which one's the costume" joke, but we can't bring ourselves to do it - they're both so happy, we love these guys so much. #20.
#19.
A star/flower/kitty mask. A lot of powerful iconography here, this represents an early attempt by Japanese scientists to crossbreed the cutest costume ever. #18.
Holy fuck. We have looked at a lot of costumes these last few years, and this is the only one we've seen that makes you look like a child molester version of Brent Spiner.
#17.
Your guess is as good as ours. We can't disagree with the label though. #16.
We lost track of the name of this one, but we're guessing it said "Orthogonal Pig Hat." |
ok, you forgot one costume... http://www.made-in-england.org/images/birth_to_self.jpg
Best boobs clips ever! Naked News! Russell Brand dissing old men about their slutty granddaughters! Who's Nailin Paylin clips! ALL FREE!
http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=bfa4055a7d13cd430dde&page=3&viewtype=&category=mr
#33 is supposed to be Devilman, the main character of a manga series by the same name. It's made by the same guy who made Mazinger Z and Getter Robo, it's short, and it's awesome.
I reeeeaaallllly want #20, the Japanese Christmas Tree Mask, to bust out at Christmas. Link anyone? :D
best boobies clip ever! who's nailin' paylin! russell brand's firing on the bbc! boobies!
http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=bfa4055a7d13cd430dde&page=1&viewtype=&category=mr
I NEED to know where I can get that frog mask. Any links would be amazingly appreciated!
What's with all the crazy cherry blossom costumes? I mean, I know they love sakura in Japan, but you don't see Americans dressing up as hamburgers with capes.
Except if they're dressed as hamburgler.
How can I get ahold of one of those frog masks? (number 5)? possible to order them here in California???
Is #18 supposed to be a Michael Swaim costume?
We asians aren't all fruity. We just have a weird sense of humour. :D
WHY ARE ASIANS SUCH f*****g FRUITS?!?! WHY CRACKED WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!
# 17 is supposed to be a cherry blossom tree. >.> That's what it says on the package, (in Japanese) anyway.
My mom has number 13!!!! Hahahhaah...hysterical
The winner reminds me of that joke about the pirate that walks into a bar with a steering wheel on the front of his pants. Dont'cha think?
"Arrr! It drives me nuts!"
I have no idea whether it was the manufacturer's intent but #2 does look like someone who has been taken over by Starro The Conqueror the giant mind control starfish alien from DC comics
These are funny. Makes me want to move to Japan.
Here is another list of disturbingly AWESOME costumes on the Internets
http://www.guidespot.com/guides/all_things_halloween
I KNOW that I can come up with better, but these are truly creepy at the end.
Dear Cracked,
You have introduced me to some of the most amazing, obscure, jaw-dropping (and still true!) things of life and history. Now I would like to return the favor in kind by telling you about #18. I'm pretty sure this is the "blackface" kinda stereotype the Japanese have for Americans. Big nose, light hair (eyebrows only!?). That's not Data. That's YOU & ME! Please look into "Nice Guy Jin" for some buried comedy gold for potential use in a nearby future article. You're welcome.
BTW: #17 is supposed to be cherry blossoms, at least that is what the package says.
Also, it doesn't make you smarter.
And here we are, making it worse!
Let's ruin Disney again!
Killer Kowalski wasn't already dead?!?
These bums are better than you.
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kvinnan86
#26 looks like one of the killer puppets from The Puppetmaster