What exactly do they do with the kids? Do they use them as crash test dummies for the next generation of spy car ejection seats? Inject Super-Ebola into their eyeballs? Probably not, but for the right money, we won't ask.
"This will either make him burst into flames, or really burst into flames."
That's right: When children are used in clinical trials, it's the parents that receive compensation. Minors can't even sign forms of consent, but mom and dad can and do, and it's up to junior to bear the brunt of the chemical blitz.
Sure, of course there are strict regulations on trials with children as subjects. But on the flip side, the regulations dictating whether or not children can participate in the studies in the first place are rather loose: As long as they're not provably coerced into participating, inject away, science! After a few weeks of needles and a lifetime of unintended side-effects, maybe next year little Billy will save up for a Prada handbag for Mother's Day instead of this stupid handmade ashtray.
"Well I'm very sorry you've got a terminal case of blood spiders, sweetie, but mommy gots to get paid!"
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