I think it's important that you're aware of the many ways your brain will be a merciless dick to you if you try.
According to science, if you want people to like you there are a few simple and completely nonsensical steps you can follow.
A few months ago, several years after beginning this column, I finally learned how to write, the last piece of the puzzle being someone showing me how semicolons work.
Despite my time as a sacrificial lamb on the altar of incompetence, I still managed to pick up a few tricks for office-time success.
Sometimes creators stumble upon fan-created ideas too awesome to be ignored.
I used to be a cop, and what I learned on the job is that it is far more ridiculous than any fictional portrayal.
I made the OkCupid profile of the Worst Woman on Earth, hoping to prove that there exists an online dating profile so loathsome that no man would message it. I failed.
The first game came out over 15 years ago, and if you've long stopped paying attention, you'll be surprised by the bizarre things that have happened to the series.
While visiting an old church or park, when suddenly ... penises. Penises everywhere.
Take a good, long look at Fido, because maybe, just maybe, he's been trying to kill you for years and years. Maybe he already did kill you.
My name is Robert Brockway, and I have a problem: I'm addicted to the apocalypse.
Everyone tried so hard to go 'viral' that the word barely has any meaning anymore.
2013 was a historically bad year for Congress and health care websites, but it was Cracked's best year ever.
In the face of relentless pressure to keep coming up with new supervillains, publishers wound up greenlighting ideas that really should have screamed 'bad idea' at the doodle stage.
In 2013, these six stories quenched the general public's insatiable thirst for misplaced outrage more than any others.