A 63-year-old South Korean woman had the ultimate dining experience after taking a bite of squid in a restaurant. She felt a sharp pricking sensation in her mouth, spat out the offending wad of squid goo, and would have thought nothing more of it -- but she continued to experience pain. So ... she's probably allergic or something, right? Maybe it was a shady restaurant and the "squid" was eight old shark dicks taped together?
Well, she visited a local physician who, after examining her mouth, gave her the kind of news that nobody expects even when promised the worst-case scenario: Her mouth had been inseminated by squid sperm.
"Why do you think they look like condoms?"
It turns out that male squid have an ejaculation system that really gets the job done, depositing sacks that have adhesive qualities and eject sperm into the surrounding area. In this extremely rare case, the squid hadn't been boiled quite hard enough to relieve its raging mollusk boner, and when the diner bit into it, it quite literally came so hard that it punched a hole in her mouth and left a dozen wriggling squid sperm behind to squirm about in search of a lady-squid.
Biologists call this "bukaklamare."