Even in the land of the ludicrous, some things go beyond the pale.
Based on previous experience, here are a few things that will definitely happen the next time you decide to drive through the desert.
To the Manager of McDonald's #9874: I am deeply sorry about what happened in your ball pit.
You can't really cheat at alcohol. Ha, got you for a minute there! You totally can. Here's how,
There's no sacred rulebook governing all of society. What's considered monocle-popping rude in one culture could be the height of courtesy in another.
Should you ever again decide to brave that hostile hellzone known as 'outside,' be sure to keep these in mind.
There's a long standing tradition of trashy 'young adult' novels filling the minds of pre-pubescents with lusty thoughts and ambiguous moral messages.
Cracked sat down with a couple of asexuals to learn a little bit more about just what life is like when your anaconda don't want none.
The other day, I realized that I'd gone about two months without something that had been a nearly daily part of my life, and I didn't miss it.
It's good to appreciate the houses of worship that go out of their way to make it clear just how freaking metal their shit is.
What have we done?
The worst books are those that successfully spin the Wheel of Morality but then deliver their messages in the stupidest, most counterproductive manner possible.
If you've got the proper mindset, when you do these things today, tomorrow, and every day after that, you'll feel like you're living a movie.