Cracked Archive - Video Games

We know that video games are not, by their nature, strictly for children. But that's why we have a rating system for them. Of course, sometimes that's not enough to stop the unnatural, keening screams coming from inside the house.

• By Codie Martin
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• September 11, 2012

When we're playing video games, we don't really think much about the people who make them. So maybe it's no surprise that game developers come up with devious and quite frankly insane ways to insert their faces in hidden spots of the game.

• By Codie Martin
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• August 31, 2012

Here are the men responsible for the thousands of innocent deaths of video game controllers.

• By Mark Hill
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• August 23, 2012

To any game developers who may be reading: You can take any of the ideas presented in this column, just as long as you don't make another Call of Duty game.

• By Robert Brockway
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• August 08, 2012

All these games rope you in, and then only after hours of wasted time do you realize what a stupid mistake you made.

• By Chris Bucholz
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• July 26, 2012

Look, we set the standards for video games and we know that being racist, sexist, homophobic jerkholes is wrong ... don't we?

• By J.F. Sargent
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• July 18, 2012

No. I have ... a thing ... in my ... b ... b ... I can't tell you.

• By Chris Bucholz
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• July 15, 2012

For years alchemists tried to turn stupid lead into gold. Game developers have fixed that formula by ditching the dead weight of the eighth word.

• By Luke McKinney
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• July 03, 2012

Video games treat breasts like real black holes: irresistable points which suck in anyone who comes near, yet don't obey the classical laws of physics.

• By Luke McKinney
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• June 22, 2012

I have to admit that some of the most fun I've ever had in gaming was due to multiplayer. It just so happens that every great multiplayer game I've played was completely broken.

• By Robert Brockway
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• June 20, 2012

With joy in my heart, let me try to explain the feelings that come with being a video game player.

• By Jason Pargin
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• June 12, 2012

There's a long list of massively anticipated games that didn't come out until years after their initial announcement at E3. There are a few reasons why this happens, which I've enumerated in an extraordinarily gritty list.

• By Chris Bucholz
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• June 07, 2012

Dating video games are hugely popular in Japan. Naturally, some of these games go just a little too far.

• By Mark Hill, Dustin Koski
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• May 24, 2012

When the ‘Diablo III’ servers were broken for most of its first day live, millions of frustrated fingers told the Internet how pissed off they were. However, as far as video game PR disasters go, it couldn't contend with these classics:

• By Seanbaby
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• May 20, 2012

For those of you who have become numb to video games, allow us to give you feeling again.

• By Miles Bacchus
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• May 19, 2012