Cracked Archive - Sex

5 Ways Evolution Designed Your Body To Be Awesome At Sex

Our bodies seem to have either been designed by a dysfunctional committee or a very cruel prankster.


8 Easy Steps To Convince Your Husband To Get A Vasectomy

Apparently, there is something about shutting off my husband's sperm flow that doesn't appeal to him on a basic man-level. So I set out to change his mind.


5 Bleak Examples Of 'Social Issue' Porn (Which Is A Thing?)

Imagine any social issue that gets your blood boiling, and then imagine poorly scripted sexy talk and money shots added in.


6 Realities Of Life When Your Mom Is A Working Prostitute

We spoke to 'Felicia,' whose mother worked at a New Zealand brothel when Felicia was a teenager. Here's what we learned.


Super Creepy Sex Toys For Super Creepy People

WARNING: What's about to come is painfully NSFW.


5 Sex Toys That Invent Horrifying New Ways To Multi-Task

Have you ever thought about combining your no doubt many and varied non-sexual bad habits with your, uh, sexual habits?


The Complicated Realities Of Living With A Quicksand Fetish

In 1932, Hollywood introduced the movie-going public to the concept of drowning movie extras in quicksand, and to everybody's surprise, we started masturbating. Here's a closer look at this phenomenon.


7 X-Rated Traditions That Prove History Was Horny As F#@%

Men and women have been shamelessly horny lizards ever since the Stone Age.


The 5 Most Indefensible Sex Scenes In Superhero Movies

Sex in comic book movies is about as awkward as sex in a comic book store.


6 Hilarious X-Rated Artifacts From Early Computers

It was not that long ago that humanity had to resort to insanely elaborate or plain ridiculous methods just to do something as natural as looking at naked people in a computer screen.


6 Erotic Tales About Politicians (That'll Destroy Your Mind)

Politics and sex go together like genitals and belt sanders -- horribly, yet morbidly fascinating for all those around you.


5 Things I Saw Making Porn With The Creators Of South Park

Once upon a time, Tim Lake used to make guerrilla porn all across L.A. with Matt Stone and Trey Parker. This is their story.


5 Female Sexual Enhancements You Didn't Think Were Possible

I found out about some insane sexual enhancements for ladies that are way crazier than my 'penis pump plus prayer' regimen.


12 Hilarious Failures At Sex Pill Package Design

Sometimes, when you're focusing all your energy on putting out a dubious 'sexual enhancement' product, you can't be bothered to design packaging that makes any kind of sense.