Either out of sexual attraction, or because the illustrator had x-ray vision and was never taught the complexities of Earth customs, the two get naked on the very next page.
Or their clothes ran away from shame.
And despite the fact that the characters look like the product of a kindergarten art class, they straight-up do it. And you see everything -- tongue kissing, hardcore penetration, and even the man's dangerously low sperm count from wearing all those tight '70s jeans ...
Nine months later, they head to the world's smallest hospital in their free love-mobile ...
Unwilling to pull any punches, the book actually shows its prepubescent readers the baby's head crowning. You could commend the publishers for their bravery were it not for the fact that the baby looks like an onion doing a Porky Pig pose.
"This is how a life begins ... and our world ends."
This might be the only baby book that makes kids feel self-conscious about how lackluster their own birth was, because who among us can say they dazzled the room with jazz hands in their first moments of life?
Think Nana and Pop-Pop's loving 60-year monogamous relationship is quaint and old-fashioned? First off, sorry for that disturbing image, but we've got some news for you: the monogamous sexual relationship is actually brand new relative to how long humans have been around. Secondly, it's about to get worse from here: monkey sex. On this month's live podcast, Jack O'Brien and the Cracked staff welcome Dr. Christopher Ryan, podcaster and author of 'Sex at Dawn', onto the show for a lively Valentine's Day discussion about love, sex, why our genitals are where they are, and why we're more like chimps and bonobos than you think. Tickets go on sale soon!
Also check out 5 Insane Things I Was Taught In Abstinence-Only Sex Ed and The 5 Most Important Things They Never Taught You In Sex Ed.
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