Thanks to the internet, you're always only a couple of mouse clicks or screen taps away from your porniest desire, and ... we just lost half our readers by reminding you of that, didn't we? It's OK, we understand. After all, it was not that long ago that humanity had to resort to insanely elaborate or plain ridiculous methods just to do something as natural as looking at naked people on a computer screen. Methods like ...
(Oh, fair warning: It's probably best to assume that every link in this article is NSFW.)
Europe Was Broadcasting Pixel Porn Into TVs Way Before The Internet
Like Al Pacino, they're now caricatures of themselves. But back in the day, these colorful sex ads actually got people hot, bothered, and ready to spend lots of money:
They had something for all tastes -- young, old, fish mutant, etc.
It was called Teletext, and it was a product of the '70s and '80s (if the color scheme wasn't enough of an indicator). If you had the required decoder on your TV, you could receive text and text art over unused television spectrum -- it's how closed captioning works, basically. However, the most efficient use of this amazing technology was, of course, the advertising of boner-causing services. In Europe (especially Germany, as you may have guessed), Teletext ran shitloads of advertisements for phone sex hotlines apparently staffed by Sierra game characters. The flashing, colorful light pixels conjured up images of vaguely female sex partners while presumably killing every lonely epileptic in the continent.
And yes, they actually worked. Real people saw those things and said, "Holy crap, gotta get me some of that blocky action."
There were also non-sex-related messages, like these innocent shoe ads.