Tell Your Story: Neil Gaiman’s 11 Rules for Writing

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Shame. Shame! S H A M E !

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Iceberg At Titanic Museum Collapses, Injuring Three

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Blizzard's Dumpster Fire Keeps Getting Fuel Added

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22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

By:: Cracked Plasticians

November 28, 2018

22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

Cracked pays people to make smart memes. Visit the Photoplasty and Pictofacts Workshop to get in on it.

You'd think because of all the lying down involved, sex would be pretty safe. You'd be mistaken. People injure themselves doing sex stuff all the time, and we've got the horror stories to prove it.

Doctors and emergency rooms are constantly treating people whose sexual encounters have had horrible, nightmare-inducing consequences. For example:

22 Entry by Joyce Rogers

AN ITALIAN COUPLE MAKING LOVE IN THE WATER OFF PORTO SAN GIORGIO FOUND THEIR GENITALIA INEXTRICABLY LOCKED TOGETHER. THEY WERE VICTIMS OF PENIS CAPTIV

21 Entry by Moses Armstrong

Always use protection when giving rim jobs! In 2014 a man went to see a doctor after suffering from weeks of diarrhea. After providing a stool sample,

20 Entry by Joyce Rogers

COMEDIAN CRAGKEDoO ROSS ASDOURIAN WAS IN THE MIDST OF INTERCOURSE WHEN HE BROKE HIS PENIS. PENILE FRACTURE, OR CORPUS CAVERNOSA RUPTURE, CAN OCCUR WHE

19 Entry by Andrea Meno

In 2011, a woman fooled around with a male friend near a relative's grave. A tombstone fell on her leg, and she ended up in the hospital. CRACKED.COM

18 Entry by PookieJones

A hickey led to a mild stroke. A New Zealand woman lost the feeling in her left arm because of a clot in the artery underneath the hickey she got a fe

17 Entry by Tee Ngin Rui

A French couple's nude bodies were found in the moat of a 19th century Napoleonic fort. Police speculate that they were having a tryst and fel into th

16 Entry by Michael Voll

CRACKED.COM A Texas doctor encountered a woman whose boyfriend had given her oral sex immediately after eating spicy food. The resulting transfer of h

15 Entry by Andrea Meno

In a 1996 one-night stand, Sandra Orellana jumped up to sit on a balcony railing, to have sex. But she fell eight stories, and the drop killed her. CR

14 Entry by Chan Teik Onn

There have been at least five cases where people suffered lacerations from their Henry masturbation 200 session with a vacuum cleaner. Don't do it guy

13 Entry by Chan Teik Onn

CRAGKED0O CON A woman from Birmingham, UK contracted a flesh-eating disease after she got injured during a sex game. Katie Widdowson, 24, hurt her wri

12 Entry by Andrea Meno

A Pennsylvania man plugged nipple clamps into an electric strip and used them on his wife. He shocked her three or four times, and the last time, she

11 Entry by Moses Armstrong

An endoscopy department in Milan had to come up with a new technique to remove a massive 23 dildo from a 31-year- old man's rectum. It was too smooth

10 Entry by Chan Teik Onn

A 70 Oyear old man was rushed to the hospital... c..because he had a fork stuck in his penis. It was found out that he had been using it for sexual gr

9 Entry by María Andrea Fernández

A fitness trainer will tell you to work hard. But a weightlifter in Germany took it too far. He managed to get his penis stuck inside the hole of a du

8 Entry by Moses Armstrong

CRACKED.COM When having sex while driving, a Washington couple crashed into a tree. They had to go to the hospital for treatment of broken bones.

7 Entry by kidrawk

A Cameroonian: woman had her appendix removed after experiencing a whole week of constant pain in her lower. abdomen. Large intestine Small intestine

6 Entry by Moses Armstrong

CRACKED.GOM While having some solo fun with a drinking glass in his butt, a man lost control ofit, and it got stuck. When it BROKE he went to the hosp

5 Entry by Michael Voll

In 2011, a Tennessee couple tried to heat things up in the bedroom by having him eat a melted giant gummy bear off of her body, Unlike massage wax, ho

4 Entry by PollyDarton

A completely intoxicated Kansas man had the police called on him because he was making sweet, sweet love a car's ipipe. The police found the CRACKED.C

3 Entry by Joyce Rogers

A27-year-old Maryland woman was rushed to the hospital after her man got the bright idea to POWER use a dildo on her, SADER which he had attached to a

2 Entry by Joyce Rogers

A Spanish couple were having sex on top of a covered well when the cover slipped, and the woman fell down the thirty-foot shaft. Her lover fled the sc

1 Entry by Moses Armstrong

B 10 12 After using an iron ring as a c*ck ring, a man found himself stuck. After two days with a constant erection, he went to the doctor. It had to

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