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Cracked Archive - Sex

The 6 Most Terrifying Dating Scenes Around the World
The 6 Most Terrifying Dating Scenes Around the World

Look, if you must find an Asian date, at least do it online.

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The 6 Worst Trades Ever Made in Exchange for Sex
The 6 Worst Trades Ever Made in Exchange for Sex

There are some things in this world that pride should prevent you from doing. Trading ass for value meals is like ten of those things.

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12 Sexual Positions That Should Be Named After Celebrities
12 Sexual Positions That Should Be Named After Celebrities

Is there a way to combine sex and celebrities? I mean besides a sex tape.

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5 Creative Ways People Got Revenge on Cheating Spouses
5 Creative Ways People Got Revenge on Cheating Spouses

In a rational world full of level-headed people, when you find out you've been cheated on, you'll confront your partner and explain how you feel disrespected and that perhaps it's best if you go your separate ways. In the real world, people do this stuff.

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4 Awkward Scenarios You Only Tolerate from a Sexual Partner
4 Awkward Scenarios You Only Tolerate from a Sexual Partner

Simply by virtue of the nudie-time fun you have together (or if I want to be sweet and sappy and suggest it's true love), you will put up with and tolerate the most heinous of activities.

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4 Surefire Ways to Ruin the Mood During Any Sexual Encounter
4 Surefire Ways to Ruin the Mood During Any Sexual Encounter

Back in the day I like to think the road to dirty talk was a lot like Frodo's journey with the Fellowship.

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5 Baffling Uses of Sex Toys That Prove Humanity Is Doomed
5 Baffling Uses of Sex Toys That Prove Humanity Is Doomed

No one dies in this article or anything. A few of them get messed up, but it's cool.

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The 6 Worst Pieces of Sex Advice on the Internet
The 6 Worst Pieces of Sex Advice on the Internet

These tips are by people who are unequipped to even hope to tell you how to be a better lover at all.

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The 7 Least Sexy Songs About Sex
The 7 Least Sexy Songs About Sex

Here are the seven sexiest songs for the discerning individual whose life is one never-ending awkward silence.

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4 Perverted Behaviors You Won't Believe Animals Exhibit Too
4 Perverted Behaviors You Won't Believe Animals Exhibit Too

Don't go thinking that humans are alone in partaking in perverse behavior.

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6 Bizarre Ways to Stop Yourself From Masturbating
6 Bizarre Ways to Stop Yourself From Masturbating

For the benefit of those wankerati and the just plain curious, I figured I'd check out some of the anti-jiggletime suggestions and try them out myself.

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The 5 Saddest Prostitutes in the World
The 5 Saddest Prostitutes in the World

There's a terrible underside to prostitution, and I'm not even talking about the underside of a prostitute

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4 Ways You Can Tell the Economy Still Sucks
4 Ways You Can Tell the Economy Still Sucks

People like to point to various statistics on growth, employment, and inflation, but ultimately, all those amount to nebulous ink blot tests.

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The 6 Most Terrifying Sex Illustrations on Wikipedia
The 6 Most Terrifying Sex Illustrations on Wikipedia

Despite being one of the most visited sites on the Internet, Wikipedia is jam-packed with marvelously janky doodles of dead-eyed humans doing it.

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6 Steps to Meeting New People (For the Socially Intolerable)
6 Steps to Meeting New People (For the Socially Intolerable)

I present this system to you, illustrated with a few examples from my own experience, so that you can learn from the failure pile that is my life.

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