Cracked Archive - News

Someone Left A Shrine To Mercury, The Roman God of Travelers, On A Subway Platform Because American Transit Needs All The Help It Can Get

Legend has it that if you leave your subway card and first born child at the shrine, your train *just might* arrive on time for once...


Bride Turns Her Mother's Wedding Gown Into Wedding Night Lingerie

Here comes the bride, all dressed in, lingerie made from her mother's wedding gown?


Send Noods ... Or Don't? Kraft Accused of Creeping With Mac and Cheese

At first Kraft's new marketing campaign went well ... orzo they thought.


5 Scary Questions About The Future (No One Wants To Ask)

Fixing the world means confronting these head-on ...


Stressed-Out Folks Are Hugging Cows (And Moo Can Blame Them)

The latest animal therapy trend just might be the right moooooove.


Woman Returns Stolen Items From Pompeii After 15 Years of Bad Luck

Did we not learn anything from 'Indiana Jones'?


Just In Time For Halloween, Someone's Selling Half A Christmas Tree

Just like the classic October jingle, 'Half a holly, jolly Christmas ...'


5 Chilling Murderers Who Met Their Ends In Ridiculous Twists

If you sign up to be a serial killer, chances are your own death will be very stupid.


Stripper Voting Campaign 'Get Your Booty To The Poll' Aims to Encourage Voting

As Stephen Colbert put it, 'that, my friends, is democracy at twerk.'


Japan's Super Mario Theme Park Looks Adorable (But Needs More Waluigi)

Time to go drown our sorrows in a Luigi soda, folks.


Reporters Keep Quoting Fake Van Halen Interview (Whoops)

Journalists, they're just like your grandma on Facebook!