25 Head-Shaking News Headlines That Rocked Our Cradle

Nintendo canceled the UK reveal of the hilariously mistimed “Tears of a Kingdom.”
25 Head-Shaking News Headlines That Rocked Our Cradle

KFC made headlines recently when they left $500 in a customer's sandwich. Luckily, JoAnn Oliver returned the money; though she could have really used it since her husband is living with cancer and their family is facing about $2 million in medical bills. Pankaj Bhasin also hit the news for an interesting reason: he was ordered by a judge to stay off social media after his dating profile left out the fact that he killed a guy he thought was a werewolf. Pankaj spent three years in a mental institution after killing a stranger in 2018 and will now be on conditional release under these new conditions set by the court. And last but not least, Starbucks created quite a stir when they announced student loan repayment tools and savings account programs...for all U.S employees who are not union members, that is. Getting creative with their aggressive anti-union stance yet again, this coffee company seems intent on keeping workers happy - as long as they don't ask for more than what Starbucks wants to give them. 



 

Teenager arrested for stealing bus to see girlfriend.

A Sri Lanka teen stole a city bus to see his girlfriend. GRACKED.COM The 15-year-old took the bus from a bus de- pot while a group of drivers had left to watch a game of crick- et, as the keys were left in the ignition.

NewsWire 

High School Decides to Raffle Guns to Fund Athletics Program.

An Alabama high school is raffling guns to pay for athletic programs. . . CRACKED.COM dbis The Athletic Club at T.R. Miller High School is giving away one gun a day. Folks just have to donate $50 to enter to win.

NBC 

Iran wrestler accused of boycott against Israeli wrestler by overeating.

An Iranian wrestler was accused of purposefully overeating to not face an Israeli opponent. Best O Ray GRACKED.COM Amir Yazdani was due to face an Israeli opponent at the Wrestle Belgrade championships, but they overfed him so he didn't qualify at the weigh in.

Jpost 

Japanese researchers win Ig Nobel for research on knob turning.

The satirical Ig Nobel prize was awarded to research on how people turn doorknobs. CRACKED.COM The group of Japanese re- searchers won for their analysis of how people use their fingers to turn a knob. This is the 16th straight year that Japa- nese researchers have won an Ig Nobel Prize.

NHK 

Cher calls Queen a cow instead of GOAT in emoji gaffe.

Cher accidentally called the late Queen Elizabeth II a cow. CRACKED COM The 76-year-old was try- ing to use an emoji to re- fer to the deceased 96-year-old Queen as the GOAT (greatest of all time), but used the wrong barnyard animal.

Toronto Sun 

Nintendo UK cancels 'Tears of the Kingdom' Zelda livestream due to Queen's death.

Nintendo canceled the livestream reveal of their next Zelda game because of an unfortunate title. THE LEGEND OF ELDA TM TEARS THE OF KINGDOM CRACKED.COM The Legend of Zelda: Tears of a Kingdom is a fine title, but it was a little too apropos when it coin- cided with the death of an actual Queen, and tears of an actual kingdom.

gosunoob 

In Lebanon, armed customers rob banks to get their own money.

Citizens of Lebanon are robbing banks to get their own money out. CRACKED.COM Bank transactions in the country have been blocked during a national financial meltdown, forcing worried Lebanese to take actual weapons into branches to retrieve their own money.

Maza Inside 

Man allegedly posed as reflexologist, touched women's feet.

A man posed as a reflexologist to touch women's feet in British Columbia. CRACKED.COM Of course, 'reflexology' is not actual science or medi- cine, so who is to say any- one can even 'pose' as a practitioner? Probably the women whose feet were being touched.

Source

Four cannons and guns found in large weapon haul at Kapunda home.

South Australia Police found cannons among other weapons at a residential home. CRACKED.COM The homeowners, now ar- rested, had brass knuckles, collapsible batons, dag- gers, semi-automatic rifles, and four, honest-to-God cannons - like with the big wheels and everything.

ABC 

Asking the Public to Name Probe to Uranus May Have Been a Mistake.

A Twitter account ExploreIGO made the mistake of asking the internet to name a probe heading to Uranus. GRACKED.COM Responses ranged from honest attempts from mature space-enthusiasts to your typical, juvenile internet commenters sug- gesting butt plug and Uranusy McUranusface.

Futurism

Eminem reaches No.1 on Billboard’s Hot Christian Songs.

Eminem is topping Billboard's Hot Christian Songs. CRACKED.COM The Rap God teamed up with Kanye West and DJ Khaled for a remix of Kanye West's gospel song, Use This Gospel, originally from West's Je- sus Is King album.

Christian Post

Trail of slime leads customs officials to stash of almost 100 giant snails.

A trail of slime led German customs officials to a stash of almost 100 giant African land snails. CRACKED.COM Officials stumbled over one of the snails on a baggage truck and initially thought it was a toy until it started moving. By following the trail left by the 8-inch snail, they found a bag with a hole, and more snails.

CBS

Migrant in Cowboys jersey arrested after failing to tell border agent how team played.

An undocumented migrant was sussed out after failing to answer a border agent's football question. CRACKED.COM Asbel Ortiz-Baquedano was wearing a Cowboys jersey, so a McAllen Border Patrol agent asked him how did they do last night? When Asbel responded with they didn't do too good, the agent asked for I.D.

Valley Central 

Thai Red Cross urges people not to sell kidneys to buy new iPhone 14.

The Thailand Red Cross is urging people to stop selling their kidneys for the new iPhone. THANK MANO Moon DECEMBER . 17 I O I Colone f Unselesh г. | Butterland Spenity J f a - HERO3+ GRACKED.COM Sophon Mekthon, the managing director of the Organ Donation Center under the Thai Red Cross Society, warned people that organ trading in Thailand is illegal.

Head Topics 

Matt Walsh slammed for saying Black "Little Mermaid" isn't "scientific."

Matt Walsh says the new Little Mermaid, played by a black actress, is not scientific. CRACKED.COM With The Little Mermaid, can we just mention that, from a scientific perspec- tive, it doesn't make a lot of sense to have someone with darker skin who lives deep in the ocean, Walsh said.

NewsWeek 

Humans and Cockatoos Are Locked in a Battle Over Garbage.

People in the suburbs of Sydney are battling garbage-diving cockatoos. CRACKED.COM The intelligent birds learn how to get into the wheelies from other cockies, opening up the lids with their beaks to get to the discarded food inside.

CNet 

Billionaire No More: Patagonia Founder Gives Away the Company.

The billionaire owner of Patagonia gave away his company. CRACKED CON Ownership transferred to a trust to ensure the compa- ny's independence and en- sure that all of its $100 mil- lion a year profits are used to combat climate change and protect undeveloped land around the globe.

NY Times 

A food delivery robot drove under police tape and through an active crime scene. ROSS POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS CRACKED.COM When the robots say 30 minutes or less, they mean it - either by driving through a crime scene or creat- ing one. The choice is yours.

Chinese parents sue daughter they abandoned for not buying her brother an apartment.

The daughter of Chinese parents who abandoned her was sued for not buying her brother an apartment. CRACKED.COM Under the Civil Code of China, adult chil- dren have a legal obli- gation to support their parents regardless of estrangement or aban- donment.

Yahoo 

Pizza Hut Invents 'Italian Taco' to Take on Taco Bell's Mexican Pizza.

Taco Bell's Mexican Pizza has a meaty contender: Pizza Hut's Italian Taco. Pizza Hut CLASSIC PizzaHut OTOO ГЛИСН BOLLEL CRACKED.COM These two fast food chains are playing pret- ty fast and loose with the terms Mexican and Italian. Either way, marijuana enthusiasts everywhere win.

Food and Wine 

Grocery Bag Bans Wreak Havoc in New Jersey.

NJ banned all plastic grocery bags, so New Serseyans are stealing shopping baskets. GRACKED.COM 9 states, like New Jersey, outright banned plastic bags in large stores, so NJ residents are taking their shopping baskets full of pork roll and simply not bringing them back into the store.

The Takeout 

Royal beekeeper informs the Queen's bees that Her Majesty has died.

The royal bees have been informed of Queen Elizabeth Il's passing. CRACKED.COM The Royal Beekeeper had the uncomfortable job of bringing the news to the hive, and presumably had to calm the buzzing insects and clarify it wasn't *their* queen that died.

MSN

Starbucks announces new student loan repayment tools for employees not in a union.

Starbucks added benefits for workers, as long as they are not union members. STATGUCKS COFFEE CRACKED.COM Getting creative with their aggressive anti-union stance, Starbucks an- nounced student loan re- payment tools and a savings account program for all U.S. employees as long as they don't fight for better wages.

Reuters 

'Werewolf killer' ordered to stay off social media.

A man was ordered to stay off social media after his dating profile left out the fact that he killed a guy he thought was a werewolf. CRACKED.COM Pankaj Bhasin was sent to a mental institution for three years after he killed a stranger who he thought was a werewolf in 2018. A judge ordered him to stay off social media while he's on conditional release.

NBC 

A Georgia woman found over $500 in her KFC sandwich after the restaurant misplaced its daily deposit.

KFC misplaced their daily deposit and left $500 in a customer's sandwich. CRACKED.COM JoAnn Oliver returned the money, but said she could have actually really used it since her husband is living with cancer, and the family is facing about $2 million in medical bills. Thanks, America.

Business Insider 

Scroll down for the next article

Must Read

VIRAL ON CRACKED

A WEEKLY
NEWSLETTER OF
JOKES + TRIVIA

Forgot Password?