Cracked Archive - News

What The Hell Is 'The Snail' Question?
It's a question as old as time -- or, well, Rooster Teeth and Reddit.
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- By Carly Tennes
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16
We (Sorta) Had Our First Woman President Thanks to a Colonoscopy
Colonoscopies: making VP dreams come true since 1776!
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- By Carly Tennes
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28
4 Ideas About Education That Everyone Gets Wrong
We still believe lies created decades ago.
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- By Steven Assarian
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37
No One Is Giving Your Kid Edibles This Halloween
No one has that kind of money ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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13
Halloween Candy Corn Supply Not Affected After Ransomware Attack, Disappointing Millions With Tastebuds
Great.
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- By Carly Tennes
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12
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We've got your morning reading covered.
Vienna, Austria's Tourism Board Starts OnlyFans To Show Off Their, Erm, Classic Artwork
Nice.
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- By Carly Tennes
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5
Artist Takes Money And Runs, Leaving Behind Work Titled 'Take The Money And Run'
The artwork is essentially about the working conditions of artists," says Haaning, which is exactly what we say every time we're caught stealing.
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- By Ryan Menezes
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15
5 Reasons Going To Grad School Isn't Worth It Anymore
Magna cum lower your expectations.
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- By Cedric Voets
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50
Pokemon Card-Burning Mom Sets Off Twitter Inferno
Bean Dad's got some competition for Twitter's arch (parenting) nemisis.
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- By Carly Tennes
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21
Why's Wall Street Pearl Clutching At Chile's Left Turn?
A Chilean response to Bloomberg News' fearmongering.
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- By Talbert Gregson
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13
3 Journalists Who Had Trash Fire Weeks
It's been a rough week for reporters -- and it's only Thursday.
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- By Carly Tennes
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44
6 Reasons Texas’ New Abortion Law Will Probably Be A Dumb Mess
History tells us that encouraging mass citizen surveillance just plain sucks.
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- By Mark Hill
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63
The Zodiac Killer Has Been Allegedly Identified, Cold Case Team Claims
Spoiler Alert: It's not Ted Cruz.
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- By Carly Tennes
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37
'Seinfeld' Is Back And In Honor Of Its Return, We Aired Our 4 Biggest Grievances
We've got a lot of problems with you people – four, to be specific -- and now you're gonna hear about it!
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- By Carly Tennes
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16
'Google' Is The Top Search Term Among Bing Users, Google Says
Bing can thank Google for rescuing it from an Ask Jeeves-esque demise.
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- By Carly Tennes
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12