Right on the heels of their Happy Meals for Hypebeasts collaboration with Cactus Plant Flea Market, McDonald’s has announced a new limited edition Happy Meal, but one that’s less fashion-forward and more memory-backwards. Mickey D’s will be celebrating the Halloween season with the return of some iconic, spooky plastic pails that they’ll be serving Happy Meals to children and emotionally distressed adults in. Because what drums up more nostalgia for McDonald’s than a piece of low-quality plastic that brings you 3 minutes of joy and then ends up either on a landfill island in the ocean or turned into microplastics and distributed through new mothers’ breast milk?

McDonald's

If you head to your local clown restaurant and pick up one of the meals, here’s what you can expect to receive:

A Tiny Hamburger That Reminds You Of A Time You Never Paid Rent

Ah, one bite and the minimalist flavor of a tiny, unadorned burger will send you rocketing into the past. When something off the dollar menu would be purchased because it was the appropriate amount of food for a child, and not because your checking account was coughing up blood during the last week of the month. A time when you owned a piggy bank that various debts and loans weren’t picking dry on a monthly basis, and 100 dollars seemed like a Scrooge McDuck amount of liquid currency.

Approximately 8 French Fries You Ate In The Car With Your Still-Married Parents

As you chow down on a half-dozen delicious potato bits, imagine in your mind’s eye a refrain from the front seat to be careful with the ketchup, coming from your parents, who were still in a legal relationship. This was a bit of fast-food treat that was purchased as a reward for a brave trip to the dentist, and not as small-scale leverage in an emotional custody battle.

A Juicebox That Tasted Sweeter When You’d Never Been Cheated On

Suck down that delicious apple-pear hybrid nectar from a classic bendy straw, a nostalgic taste that throws you back to when the greatest betrayal you’d ever felt was when your friend lost your VHS copy of the Lion King, or your little brother deleted your tricked-out Runescape account. If you thought the loss of a full mithril set was devastating, just wait until you feel like you lost 2 years of your life!

Top Image: McDonald’s/Pixabay

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