Cracked Archive - News
Nobody Knows How Wildfire Season Is Gonna Go
How many crises can we deal with at once? We're gonna find out.
- Authors
- By Isaac Cabe
- Published
- Comments
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13
13 Twitter Finally Corrects Trump And He Goes Full Dictator Mode
Twitter finally called Trump out. Now he wants to shut them down.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 118
JK Rowling Still Sucks At Metaphors
Look us in the eye and tell us who the Marshlanders are, Joanne.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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- Comments
- 28
To Celebrate Nearly 100k Dead, Trump Donates 100k
They're 100% going to accidentally going to release his tax returns in an campaign fundraising email blast.
- Authors
- By Luis Prada
- Published
- Comments
- 66
How Is KFC So Late To The Chicken Sandwich Wars?
America's never going to say no to a fried chicken sandwich, but...
- Authors
- By Isaac Cabe
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- Comments
- 24
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Garfield-Themed Restaurant Exists, Is Having A Hard Time
The future of the Garfield-shaped food industry is in peril.
- Authors
- By Maxwell Yezpitelok
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- Comments
- 14
Ways Prison Life Is Even Worse Than On TV
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- By Adam Wears
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- Comments
- 114
A Michigan Dam Burst, Can We Finally Tackle Infrastructure Now?
How many once-in-a-century problems does it take before we do something?
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- By Isaac Cabe
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- 44
To Encourage Folks to Bone, Trojan Released a ... Cookbook?
It’s like a horror movie in which you’ve been kidnapped and forced to do nothing but bake and bang.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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Hey, Starbucks, We Branded Your New Drink For You
Starbuck's rampant promotion of new drinks around any type event is so exploitative and transparent that it has become amusing.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
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- 19
That New Hillary Clinton Alternate Reality Novel Sucks
It's like if the DNC wrote 'The Butterfly Effect.'
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- By Mark Hill
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- 28
The List Of Big Companies Getting Clobbered During This Keeps Growing
Just because a business is non-essential doesn't mean it didn't matter.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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- 38
Trump Taking Poison Is Like Shakespeare Gone Bad
This is the type of story our grandkids won't believe the same way we don't believe Paul Bunyan was real.
- Authors
- By Isaac Cabe
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- Comments
- 81
Incel-Motivated Murder Is Now Officially Terrorism
It's time to call a spade a spade.
- Authors
- By Isaac Cabe
- Published
- Comments
- 98
'Rodham' Book Takes Us Where Nobody Wants To Go
It's generally a bad idea to write a sexy story about someone who could read it.
- Authors
- By Amanda Mannen
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- Comments
- 12
