Great news for fedora-clad, neckbeard sporting 4-chan fans – it seems that you can now get absolutely obliterated from the comfort of your mom's basement. Yep – Mountain Dew, the official beverage of local skateboarders and those inhabiting really weird corners of the internet has decided to make its fluorescent green entity even more potent, pumping it full of alcohol. What could possibly go wrong?

A joint venture between PepsiCo and Boston Beer, the company behind Sam Adams (a.k.a the beer we've only ever seen our dad's boomer friends drink at suburban July 4 partier) Hard Mtn Dew is set to drop early next year, arriving in three suspiciously-neon and suspiciously zero-sugar flavors: Original, Black Cherry and Watermelon. Somewhere in the annals of history, 4 Loko is quaking, terrified for the future of its legacy as the douchiest beverage known to man. 

"We know that adult drinkers' tastes are evolving, and they are looking for new and exciting flavorful beverages," Dave Burwick, the CEO of Boston Beer, explained in a press release, per People magazine. "The combination of our experience in brewing and developing the best-tasting hard seltzers and hard teas, and MTN DEW, a one of kind multi-billion dollar brand, will deliver the excitement and refreshment that drinkers know and love."

For more internet nonsense, follow Carly on Instagram @HuntressThompson_ on TikTok as @HuntressThompson_, and on Twitter @TennesAnyone.

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