Cracked Archive - News
Mike Pence Can't Even Stage A Photo Op Right
Candace Owens is the last person you want in a discussion about George Floyd.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 05, 2020
Pornographic Actor Nacho Vidal Arrested For Poisoning Photographer With Psychedelic Toad Venom
In a year full of strange headlines, this might just be the weirdest.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 04, 2020
How To Contribute to Protests (When You’re Very White)
Pull up a chair, folks.
- By Mark Hill
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- June 04, 2020
Myths About the Protests, Debunked
George Soros is hiding under your bed and leaving bricks in your stockings.
- By Luis Prada
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- June 04, 2020
Dude, It's Only June.
2020 is a year we'll never forget and it's not even half over.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 03, 2020
LAPD's Commissioner Getting Clowned On Zoom Was Delightful
For anyone craving a bit of catharsis during all of this violence, trust us, this is better than porn.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 03, 2020
'Blackout Tuesday' Immediately Sank Because White Supporters Couldn't Shut Up
Gotta keep those hearts coming at any cost, to the point of metaphysical contradiction.
- By Amanda Mannen
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- June 03, 2020
Shut The F Up About Looting Macy's
How do you compare the destruction of large retail chains to what happens to Black people everyday? I don't know, but people are trying.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 02, 2020
Darkly Funny Moments That It's OK To Laugh At
There's a fine line between screaming and laughing.
- By Andrea Meno
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- June 02, 2020
K-Pop Stans And Hackers Are Sabotaging Cops With Music Bombs
A pitched battle.
- By Cedric Voets
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- June 02, 2020
Workplace Horror Stories From Famous Companies
Every company has its embarrassing secrets, these are even worse.
- By Alex Hanton
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- June 02, 2020
Jeffrey Epstein Had An 'Egg-Shaped Penis'
There's nothing wrong with having an egg-shaped penis, like Jeffrey Epstein.
- By Amanda Mannen
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- June 02, 2020
News That Proves We Are Getting There
Progress isn't slow. The rest of the world has just slowed down.
- By Andrea Meno
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- June 01, 2020
Unexpected Groups That Are Getting Torn Apart By Drama
Small communities, major drama.
- By Cedric Voets
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- June 01, 2020
Uh ... Trump Doesn't Have The Power To Label ANTIFA A Terrorist Organization
But, if we're wrong, Trump can arrest anyone who politically opposes him with impunity.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 01, 2020
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