Cracked Archive - News
Alex Jones Is Filing For Bankruptcy: We Love To See It
This news... this news fills me with a deep satisfaction.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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28 Ukraine May Have Sunk A Russian Ship Carrying A Piece Of Jesus' Cross
This is also, coincidentally, the plot of the next Uncharted game.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
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Elon Musk Is Trying To Buy Twitter Because He Sucks At It
You can't own me if I already own you!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- 0
New York Citizens Like Zack Did What The NYPD Couldn’t
Broken cameras and radios set to the wrong frequency didn't protect us.
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- By Eli Yudin
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Krispy Kreme's "Inflation Special" Is Bumming Me Out
Thanks for subsidizing the food for my emotional breakdown, I guess.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- 0
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3 Theories On What This Weird Store Full Of Mayonnaise Is
That's a lot of mayonnaise.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
- 0
Just When We Thought Easter Candy Couldn't Get Worse: Salmonella
The only thing worse than those nasty Robin Eggs: foodborne disease.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- Comments
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Obnoxious YouTube "Prankster" Is Getting Sued, Nice
Remember that time Borat screamed at someone and pushed them down in a supermarket?
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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NYC Mayor Eric Adams Has COVID, Because Of Course He Does
The novel coronavirus loves nothing more than infecting a big-time weirdo.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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We're Really Sending More Rich Guys Into Space Right Now
Let us know how it is up there! If we're still alive!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- Comments
- 0
The Navy Decided $4.5 Billion Worth Of Ships Suck And They Need New Ones
This ship is like 8 years old! All the kids at the war will make fun of me!
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- By Eli Yudin
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Alex Jones Can't Stop Sabotaging His Own Court Case
You have the right to remain very, extremely, incredibly loud.
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- By Eli Yudin
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Apparently 99% Of Air Is Now Unhealthy To Breathe
Gas mask stocks to the moon!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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Google And Bosses Everywhere Want You Back Wasting Time In Person
You have to drive 45 minutes so you can sit and sigh on OUR toilets!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- Comments
- 0
Amazon Goes Full Orwell With List Of Banned Words Among Workers
I'm concerned about the ethics of this. Oops, I mean I'm REDACTED about the REDACTED of this.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
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