Cracked Archive - News
How Did This Suggestive Statue Get Past Quality Control?
What sculptor would look at this without even the slightest of niggling doubts?
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- November 22, 2017
KFC's Escape Pod Is Definitely A Murder Cage, Right?
KFC needs to lay off the herbs and spices.
- By Tim Hawkman, Luis Prada
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- November 22, 2017
6 Times The News Went Totally Overboard Chasing A Story
It might sound impossible to anyone living in the year 2017, but once upon a time, there was a thing called a 'slow news day.'
- By Alex Hanton
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- November 22, 2017
Tourists Fined For Borat Costumes Don't Realize It's 2017
Sasha Baron Cohen paid the fines for these mankini-wearing miscreants.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- November 21, 2017
You Can Buy Christmas MAGA Hats To Alienate Your Family
Do you want to alienate your friends and family, while taking a bold pro-Christmas stance that literally nobody opposes?
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- November 21, 2017
The Plaza Hotel Offers A Home Alone 2 Experience... Finally?
Good news, everyone! The Plaza Hotel in New York has heard your vehement, rabid, horny calls for a 'Home Alone 2'-inspired getaway.
- By Tim Hawkman, Ian Fortey
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- November 21, 2017
The 6 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/21/17)
We’ve got your dinner conversation covered.
- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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- November 21, 2017
Bus Interrupts Cameraman's Once In A Lifetime Shot
Let us have a moment of silence for the poor Weather Channel cameraman whose soul was crushed by this bus.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- November 20, 2017
What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now (11/26/2017)
Jim Bakker would like you to buy his $60 bucket of pancake mix, which he claims can help protect you from damnation.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- November 20, 2017
Who Chose Lena Dunham To Represent Millennial Women?
Every time Lena Dunham makes a mistake, the world collectively turns to all Millennial women and says, 'Well, what do you have to say for her?'
- By Tim Hawkman, Lydia Bugg
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- November 20, 2017
Somehow 'Plantation Weddings' Are Still A Thing
There is apparently some confusion about the difference between remembering the past and celebrating it.
- By Anonymous, Andrea Meno
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- November 18, 2017
The Most Important Things You Need To Know On Friday 11/17
With so many news sources shouting for your attention, it's hard to figure out what's truly important.
- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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- November 17, 2017
The Rock Has Terrible Taste In Films (But We Still Love Him)
Dwayne Johnson is the B-movie action here we need today.
- By Tim Hawkman, Luis Prada
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- November 17, 2017
Who Is The Culprit Behind The Sephora Eyeshadow Caper?
Apparently, there was a trail of little glittery footprints in the wake of the eyeshadow attack.
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- November 17, 2017
Set Your Ovens To 420: There's A Cheetos Turkey Recipe
The jig is up: Reynolds knows we're all going to be absolutely baked this Thanksgiving.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- November 17, 2017
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