Cracked Archive - News

It's Raining Iguanas In Florida Because, Well... Florida
It's Raining Iguanas In Florida Because, Well... Florida

Like much of Florida, it's alarming but harmless.

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5 Temper Tantrums That Spiraled Out of Control
5 Temper Tantrums That Spiraled Out of Control

Telling a child 'no' comes with inherent risks.

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The Space Force's Jungle Camo Uniforms Really Suck
The Space Force's Jungle Camo Uniforms Really Suck

Perfect for hiding behind space trees.

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5 Absurdly Petty Abuses Of Power By The Cops
5 Absurdly Petty Abuses Of Power By The Cops

All Cops Are Babies

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Why Did The Navy File A Patent For An 'Alien' Spacecraft?
Why Did The Navy File A Patent For An 'Alien' Spacecraft?

The US Navy filed a patent for an aircraft that can 'engineer the fabric of our reality.'

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4 Accolades That Don't Really Mean Anything Anymore
4 Accolades That Don't Really Mean Anything Anymore

It's easy to work the system and win these awards even if you don't deserve them.

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Here's Why Bernie Sanders And Elizabeth Warren Are Fighting
Here's Why Bernie Sanders And Elizabeth Warren Are Fighting

Can anti-war candidates go to war? It sure seems like they just did.

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The Horny Tortoise Who Saved His Species Is A Fraud
The Horny Tortoise Who Saved His Species Is A Fraud

All hail tortoise sex god E5!

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5 'Ugh' Trump Stories The News Totally Forgot About
5 'Ugh' Trump Stories The News Totally Forgot About

We're so inundated with Trump news that we shrug off scandals that would tank any other president.

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Sorry Texas, But No One Needs To Learn Cursive Ever Again
Sorry Texas, But No One Needs To Learn Cursive Ever Again

Let's bring back the telegraph while we're at it.

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5 Heroic Sacrifices By Real-Life Action Heroes
5 Heroic Sacrifices By Real-Life Action Heroes

Get on this, Hollywood.

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Medical Marijuana Is Apparently A Joke To Ohio Football Fans
Medical Marijuana Is Apparently A Joke To Ohio Football Fans

Bad marijuana is not a good solution to bad football.

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What The Wienermobile Says About The Modern Economy
What The Wienermobile Says About The Modern Economy

You need a degree to drive a hot dog because that's where we're at.

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