Cracked Archive - News

Industries Left In Shambles By All This

Not every one is getting a bail out.


Bill De Blasio Is The Dumbest Man In NYC

When it comes to dealing with the coronavirus Bill de Blasio has been a one-man three stooges routine.


Sorry, NYC Typhoid Morons, Go Drink At Home

Let's plague this joint.


Working For McDonalds Is Going To Get Even More Annoying But It's For The Best

McDonalds is going to start implementing routine temperature checks, which sucks, but also that's life right now.


Stealing A Van Gogh Is Easy Now, Apparently

The painting as been released from quarantine.


The Science Behind The Fear Our Brains Create For Us

Your brain is kind of a dick, but it means well.


Politicians Whose Pop Culture Ignorance Is Real (And Hilariously) Clear

Next time, just ask an intern to explain it to you.


Italian Mayors Have Leveled Up Their Response To Scofflaws

You are unprepared for the sheer volume of Italian pursed fingers hand gestures in this article.


Coronavirus Q&A: Stay The Hell Inside

Be a real hero by sitting inside. It's literally the least you can do.


Unpleasant Realizations About Society During Coronavirus

Other than us needing a LOT more sweatpants.


Goddamn It, Trump

Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States.


5 Deeply Cursed Attempts To Cash In On Coronavirus on Amazon

What a truly stupid historical epoch we're in.


Small Airplanes Could Help With Some Remaining Coronavirus Problems

Travel should absolutely be limited at this point in time, but there's a bunch of ways little airplanes can help.


Coronavirus Porn Is Here

The power of the human boner cannot be suppressed.