An ancient poet once sat by the sea-shore; and, seeing a great ship sailing by, he asked himself if there are not, after all, some such things as ships, whether the sea is always the same size, whether there is not some such thing as a captain in command of ships, or if there are such things as sailors, whether they have not a certain kind of liveliness that is often absent from men in other professions, and so on.

As he pondered these questions in depth, retreating ever more from what his eyes told him, he grew ever more certain of his own system of determining truth. He eventually wrote it down in a language he had devised himself and, by sheer coincidence, it read exactly the same as an odd list of fifteen facts would read in English. As it was written in a language no-one else ever spoke, no scholar has been able to translate it, but we nevertheless present it here for your perusal:

The fossa has a hidden booty hole.

The scientific name for the fossa means hidden anus. CRACKED.COM The fossa is a large carnivore and a top predator in Madagascar, closely related to the mongoose family. The fossa's genus name, Cryptoprocta, is inspired by how its anus is concealed by an anal pouch.

Wired

Bamboo was the original firecracker.

The first firecrackers originated when Chinese villagers burned bamboo CRACKED CON The bamboo grows so fast that air pockets get trapped inside of it and explode with a loud bang when heated.

Cheng Tsui

Intentionally creaky floors guarded lords in feudal Japan from ninjas.

In feudal Japan, lords built homes with squeaky floors as a measure against ninjas. CRACKED.COM 'Nightingale floors' make a chirping sound when walked upon, were used in the hallways of some temples and palaces assuring that none could sneak through the corridors undetected.

The Vintage News 

You don’t make a billion dollars by paying for everyone’s phone bill.

A billionaire made guests at his mansion pay to use the phone. CRACKED.COM Billionaire oil tycoon J. Paul Getty has a pay phone installed at his mansion for guests to use so that he would not be billed for their calls.

Vanity Fair 

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Jellyfish are extremely hardy, despite lacking pretty much everything other animals have.

Jellyfish live in every ocean and have survived five mass extinctions. CRACKED.COM Jellies have been around for possibly 700 million years or more, despite most of them lacking specialized digestive, osmoregulatory, central nervous, respiratory, or circulatory systems.

One Library 

“Punch” is named for the number of ingredients.

The drink called Punch has no relation to fisticuffs. CRACKED.COM It comes from the Sanskrit for Five, since it was based on an Indian beverage made with five ingredients: spirits, water, the juice of lemons or limes, sugar, and spices.

Mashed Raddish 

Roman concrete was stronger than what we have today.

After the fall of the Roman Empire, technology to make concrete was lost. CRACKED.COM The Romans made concrete by mixing lime and volcanic rock to form a mortar. Seawater triggered a chemical reaction, and the resulting calcium-aluminum-silicate-hydrate bond is exceptionally strong.

History 

Bill Murray has people call a 1-800 number instead of using an agent.

Bill Murray has a toll free number instead of an agent. CRACKED.COM Instead of an agent, Bill Murray uses a 1-800 number where you can leave a message for him if you want to cast him for a movie or event.

Vanity Fair

Mariah Carey makes millions every year just from royalties on her Christmas track.

Every year, Mariah Carey earns $3.8 million from All I want for Christmas Is You. CRACKED.COM The Christmas classic, which was written in all of 15 minutes, earned $50 million in royalties between 1994 and 2013, and just gets more popular every year.

NY Post 

Your ears and nose never stop growing.

You only have two body parts that never stop growing. GRACKED.COM Human noses and ears keep getting bigger, even when the rest of the body's growth has come to a halt. Given enough time, we'd all turn into the Face-Lift minigame from Mario Party.

DW

You don’t need to “keep the Christ in Christmas,” no one is taking it out.

The X in Xmas is not a work-around to deny Jesus' connection to Christmas. CRACKED.COM You can thank the Greeks for calling Christmas Xmas. In Greek, the word for Christ starts with the letter Chi, which looks like an X in the Roman alphabet.

Grammarly

One man’s voice is so low, only elephants can appreciate it.

The man with the world's deepest voice can make sounds humans can't hear. CRACKED.COM That man, Tim Storms, can't even hear the note, which is eight octaves below the lowest G on a piano-but elephants can.

Medical Daily

The microwave made its inventor $

The inventor of the microwave appliance only received $2 for his discovery. DAEWOO CRACKED.COM Percy Spencer stumbled upon using electromagnetic waves to melt a candy bar, and had the idea to make a metal box using microwaves to heat food, but the company was the one to file the patent. Не received a $2 bonus but never any royalties.

APS News

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