Cracked Archive - News
Twitter Finally Corrects Trump And He Goes Full Dictator Mode
Twitter finally called Trump out. Now he wants to shut them down.
- By Dan Duddy
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- May 27, 2020
JK Rowling Still Sucks At Metaphors
Look us in the eye and tell us who the Marshlanders are, Joanne.
- By Amanda Mannen
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- May 27, 2020
To Celebrate Nearly 100k Dead, Trump Donates 100k
They're 100% going to accidentally going to release his tax returns in an campaign fundraising email blast.
- By Luis Prada
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- May 27, 2020
How Is KFC So Late To The Chicken Sandwich Wars?
America's never going to say no to a fried chicken sandwich, but...
- By Isaac Cabe
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- May 27, 2020
Garfield-Themed Restaurant Exists, Is Having A Hard Time
The future of the Garfield-shaped food industry is in peril.
- By Maxwell Yezpitelok
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- May 26, 2020
A Michigan Dam Burst, Can We Finally Tackle Infrastructure Now?
How many once-in-a-century problems does it take before we do something?
- By Isaac Cabe
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- May 22, 2020
To Encourage Folks to Bone, Trojan Released a ... Cookbook?
It’s like a horror movie in which you’ve been kidnapped and forced to do nothing but bake and bang.
- By Amanda Mannen
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- May 22, 2020
Hey, Starbucks, We Branded Your New Drink For You
Starbuck's rampant promotion of new drinks around any type event is so exploitative and transparent that it has become amusing.
- By Dan Duddy
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- May 21, 2020
That New Hillary Clinton Alternate Reality Novel Sucks
It's like if the DNC wrote 'The Butterfly Effect.'
- By Mark Hill
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- May 21, 2020
The List Of Big Companies Getting Clobbered During This Keeps Growing
Just because a business is non-essential doesn't mean it didn't matter.
- By Isaac Cabe
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- May 20, 2020
Trump Taking Poison Is Like Shakespeare Gone Bad
This is the type of story our grandkids won't believe the same way we don't believe Paul Bunyan was real.
- By Isaac Cabe
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- May 20, 2020
Incel-Motivated Murder Is Now Officially Terrorism
It's time to call a spade a spade.
- By Isaac Cabe
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- May 20, 2020
'Rodham' Book Takes Us Where Nobody Wants To Go
It's generally a bad idea to write a sexy story about someone who could read it.
- By Amanda Mannen
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- May 20, 2020
The Virus Can Do A Lot More Than Kill You
It might seem obvious, but that doesn't mean the message has really sunk in.
- By Dan Duddy
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- May 20, 2020
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