I'm not the kind of guy who likes talking about himself. It's a lot more fun talking about other people. So let me ask you a question instead—why are you so interested in my abilities?
Okay, maybe it's not such a good idea. But I'll tell you anyway. The reason that you're so interested is because I've discovered a way to use my powers for the betterment of humankind—and not only for mankind, but all life on this planet!
But that doesn't mean that you're going to like what I have to say. In fact, some of it might really piss people off. You see, the truth isn't always nice or easy, and the sooner that everyone realizes that, the happier they will be.
The key to my power, you see, is my feat of having memorized this specific list of fifteen facts. In fact, let me let you in on the secret. That list goes ...
Three Mile Island was estimated to be three miles long, but it isn’t.
You suck in hundreds of thousands of your own skin flakes every day.
The first registered trademark issued by the British government was for Bass Ale.
Volcanic ash is used in a load of household items.
Katydid bugs hear through their legs.
Yahoo was called "Jerry and David's Guide to the World Wide Web."
The Model T came in many different colors before black.
Grass is responsible for a lot of what we eat.
President Pierce was arrested for running over a lady with his horse.
5 tons of ocean water ends up in the atmosphere each second.
Belle was dressed intentionally different from her neighbors in ‘Beauty and the Beast.’
Sony sold cameras that could see through clothes.
Clocks only had hour hands up until 660.
6 percent of Americans dress their pets up for Halloween.
A woman would be executed in Ancient Greece for watching the Olympic events.